


The Making of a Warrior

by mswarrior



Series: Soulmates Through Time; I Bare It, So They Don't Have To [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clexa Fan Fiction, F/F, Oral Sex, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Fingering, attempt assault, brief lesbian dead bed syndrome, clarke kicks some ass, painting while naked, reconnecting even deeper, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:16:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mswarrior/pseuds/mswarrior
Summary: Clarke and Lexa make some changes in their lives and grow even closer. Lexa's soul of a warrior emerges. This timeline falls after My Heart Belongs To You; Best Laid Plans and after chapter 23 of Soulmates Through Time; I Bare It, So They Don't Have To





	1. Chapter 1

_August 7, 2000, Virginia_

Clarke checked the torn piece of paper she had ripped off an advertisement while getting a cup of coffee at a local cafe nearby and verified that this address was the correct place. The blond paused seeing her reflection in the window of the storefront. Worn, washed-out stickers from up and coming bands now aged with graffiti covered the front windows. She peeled off a faded poster and pressed her face to the window, cupping her hands around her eyes to see inside the store. Clarke cringed at seeing lurid lime green paint covering the interior walls. Yeah, the color was nauseating but easily fixed.

Bay windows covered either side of the front door with various pieces of paper, dust and other junk from the previous owners littering the low shelves inside. The sign overhead said that the property was for indeed for sale. With the bigger box stores popping up, the mom and pop stores couldn’t compete.

The empty store was once a small gift shop that went out of business. It had a small open upper level at the far end and stairs that hugged the left side of the store that ascended to a loft. Under it, against the far wall, was a door to a back room, possibly a bathroom.

She pulled out her camera and took a few photos and then stepped out into the street and took an overall picture of the entire store and down the block on either side. Convinced now with the plan forming in her mind. A surprise for Lexa. The dream of owning a bookstore she had wanted since she was a young girl. Lexa hesitated in making any moves in her life because she wasn't sure she was ready to make a big leap concerning her future, career-wise. But, maybe with her gentle nudging, she could help her make a decision.

It wasn't the same with Clarke. Her veterinary practice had taken off and was able to open a no-kill animal shelter just down the street from her hospital. She asked for volunteers from the local area high schools and for troubled teens to learn how to care for animals, and maybe help to work out their issues in life. She hired a couple of managers, dedicated people who loved animals and children, to operate the business for her full time.

The tamer pets her team rescued became a part of another project for a local hospice center for an end of care folks. Her staff would bring gentle aged dogs and cats to sit with elderly or dying people. Sometimes they would bring the animals to the local children’s hospital for young kids with severe illnesses or terminal cases.

With donations from the community, it helped finance both projects. This Friday, her no-kill shelter was holding a masquerade charity ball to help fund it through next year, the theme this year; Come As Your Alter Ego.

For the last few years, Lexa moved to the upper classes taught at the local middle school. A decision she soon regretted and hinted she needed a change. Her career, she once found intriguing had become stressful and overworked with the paperwork, little respect from the school board and the pay was low. But, Lexa hadn’t decided what piqued her interest yet.

Clarke knew that this was a bold step, which her partner wouldn’t have done on her own, but she was hoping a mild push in the right direction, she could make her dream come true.

Clarke pulled out her cell phone and called the number for the realtor and set up a time this afternoon to meet. Then she called Lexa.

She crossed her fingers and waited and on the fourth ring her partner answered.

_Hello?_

“Hey babe, I’m glad I caught you at home.”

_You just caught me walking in. Give me a second to put down my things._

"You got..." Clarke stopped speaking and kicked at the ground. Lexa had already put down the phone, so she didn't hear her response. Her courage waned, waiting and worrying about what Lexa would say and would probably shoot down the idea. What the hell was she even doing coming up with this hair-brained idea? Yeah, sure Lexa hinted she wanted a change. But this? Clarke wandered down the street and then turned to look back at this old empty store and already starting falling in love with the idea.

_I'm back. Whew, is it god awful humid outside. I picked up your whites at the cleaners after weight class, and I wanted to put them away. So what’s up, cute stuff?_

“Thanks for saving me a trip. Can I buy you lunch for your troubles?

Lexa drawled, _Sounds great. I'm starving. What did you have in mind?_

“Oh, just thought you could meet at Kerri and Mia’s place.” An aptly named cafe called _Mama’s Kitchen_. They met the two local women who owned the place at a _Rainbow Camping Club_ last summer and became fast friends. Kerri was the younger of the two with flaming red hair and a bunch of freckles and Mia, a feisty Jamaican woman with beautiful dreads and could they ever cook. “You interested?”

_Give me half an hour_ _?_

"You got it. Meet me a the corner of Davis and Richard Street.”

_See you in a few, sweet cheeks._

~

Clarke pushed her hands in the back pockets of her denim shorts and turned to check the street for the partner’s blue SUV. Lexa was unusually late and should have arrived fifteen minutes ago. “Five more minutes and I’m calling her again.”

Hands covered her eyes, and a husky voice whispered in her ear, “Calling who again?"

Clarke grabbed the hands as she jumped. “Damn, Lexa you had me worried.” She turned and pulled her into an embrace.

“I’m just a little late, what’s got you so jumpy?”

“Just missed you is all and I’m hungry.” She grabbed Lexa's hand and hauled her down Mama’s Kitchen. Clarke had called ahead, and they had two spots waiting for them at the counter when they arrived.

Mia waved them over. “Hey, girls. Haven’t see ya in a spell. Hope you two are hungry.”

“You know me. I'm always hungry,” Clarke said as Lexa waved at Kerri at the stove. “What’s the chef’s special today?” Kerri had a secret menu that she only shared a few favorite customers.

“Today? Hmm, let me see. There’s the jerk chicken pizza, ooh girls the sauce on that is hot and spicy but oh so good, or you could have the Mama’s Kitchen Sink Soup, everything in that one."

“Will have the pizza,” they both said in unison.

“Kitchen Sink Soup sounds...” Lexa paused putting her hand out with the universal iffy motion. "Too hot for today."

“I know it's an awful name, but it’s delicious. All kinds of flavors, so tasty. One jerk chicken pizza, coming up. You two want a couple of beers while ya wait?

“Yeah, sounds great.”

~

“This is nice a treat.” Lexa looked around the place, decorated in a cross between Kerri's Irish roots and Mai's home in Jamaica when her eyes fell on Clarke picking at the label on the beer and nudged her partner. “So, Clarke I can see the wheels spinning in your head. What’s up?”

“I was thinking about you and what your plans are for the future, job wise.”

Lexa sighed as she flexed out of her tight muscle in her arms. A sore subject and hated to even think about work. Because, that's what it felt like to her, unappreciative repetitive work. The drive just wasn't there anymore, and she needed a break to recharge herself.

“Well, besides having a summer vacation, on the job front not so much. Maybe go back to writing and trying to complete my so-called novel.”

Bits and pieces of their life together she had only finished a rough outline, and it would be a work in progress. Fleeting ideas that would come to her late at night when she would turn on the bedside lamp and jot down recollections of their past life together. Precious memories she didn’t want to forget.

"So you might be interested in doing something different? Not be a school teacher anymore?"

"I've taught for over...God, I don't even know how many years. That's how much I care. It's not that I don't think I made a difference in children's lives, but I don't think I want to see another running nose, hear my dog ate my homework or some self-righteous parent telling me to go easy on their lazy child. Just because he wants to focus more on sports."

"So, you've had enough?" Clarke said with a smile.

Lexa grinned back as she shook her head. "Damn, Clarke didn't I just..."

"One Jerk Chicken pizza hot out of the oven!" Kerri brought the pizza out herself and cut it up as they waited. "Bon appetite," Kerri said with a flourish and was gone. The pizza was indeed delicious, and the sauce on the chicken was spicy and rich with both fanning their mouths after the first a bite then digging for more.

~

After lunch, as they stepped out into the heat of the day, Clarke guided her near the buildings under the awnings to keep out of the bright summer sun. Lexa slung one arm over Clarke's shoulders as she led her in front of the building she had been checking out earlier. It was only a few storefronts away from the cafe.

“What about the bookstore you always wanted to open?” Clarke cleverly maneuvered Lexa in front of the vacant store.

Lexa groaned and leaned against the bay window's ledge. “I know, we had talked about that eons ago. I still do think about that, and what it would entail. Lots of work, I have a few ideas, books to buy. Where it should it be located, what kind of clientele I would want to attract.”

“So, you would be interested, if like you could figure out all of those details. It sounds kind of fun. I would love to help you out with that.”

“It’s a pipe dream, Clarke. Wouldn’t it cost a lot? Hell, do people even read books anymore? Now that there’s the world wide web, everything is going to be available online, and books will probably become and a thing of the past?"

“That's why we need to keep books relevant. Beside people still, need books to study. I know I'm not the only one who likes to lose myself in a good book while reading in front of a fire on a rainy day. You see people reading all the time. I think books are important. Something tangible you can hold, the sound of a book when you crack it open for the first time...” Clarke petered out and almost gave away her surprise at her over-exuberance explanation. Lexa gave her a lazy grin, reaching out for her hand and tugged at her until Clarke was standing between her legs.

Clarke checked her watch and knew the realtor would be there any minute. “This is nice.” Clarke moved to the front door and gazed inside. Lexa soon followed and put her hands up as Clarke had done before.

“Too bad this place didn’t last,” Lexa remarked, as her breath steamed up the glass window.

“Maybe, they just didn’t sell the right things,” Clarke said.

“Are you my two o’clock? Clarke, Clarke Griffin?” An older woman addressed them, and Lexa saw the sheepish grin covering her lover’s face she couldn't hide.

“I knew you were up to something,” Lexa whispered as she poked her in the side.

“Mrs. Burnett? Please to meet you. I’m Clarke Griffin, and this is my partner Lexa Woods.” Clarke offered her hand to shake.

“Please, call me Jo. I'll give you some time to check it out if you don't mind, I’ll be in my car if you need me. I have a few calls to make, and I have to get out of this heat before I pass out."

Jo unlocked the front door and left them to check out the place, and Lexa immediately turned to Clarke. “You had this planned all along?”

She put her hands up in surrender. "Only today. I just happened to see a flyer and thought of checking out for you. If it’s too much, I’ll back down.”

Clarke turned and walked to the back of the store and kicked a few empty soda cans lying about the empty store and thought she pushed too hard, too fast. She blew it. She didn’t give Lexa any time after lunch to let her decide on making a significant change in her life sink in.

She peeled an old sticker off the wall, and it promptly stuck to her fingers. Clarke flicked at it once then twice trying to shake it off when she felt Lexa by her side.

Lexa pulled the sticker off, tossing it to the ground. “Let’s out check loft.” That got a hopeful smile from Clarke, and they headed up the creaky old stairs. “That'll need some work, don’t you think?”

“Babe, you don’t have to like this place because of me.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m not, but you do have good taste, and I know you always have my best interests at heart. Let’s imagine for a while okay?

“Okay.”

They stepped into the loft gazing around at this airy space as Lexa dusted the ground off and sat down dangling her legs over the edge. Clarke joined her and looked out over the store. Seeing the possibilities were endless. Under the loft, there was space to brew coffee. She imaged new paint and books shelves, and at the front of the store, a place where people could sit with a cup of joe and a good book. Maybe hanging plants in the front window.

“I do like it, Clarke, not the paint of course. It has potential.”

“You’re not just saying that for my benefit are you?”

“I would never say anything I didn't believe, babe you know that. Did you get a price?”

“Jo quoted me a figure around $60k. Too high?”

“I have no idea. Can we afford that much?”

“I’ve easily got that in savings, plus you still have your trust account. Jo said the owner was looking for a quick sale because it's been on the market over the last six months and no bites. I did ask Mia what they paid for their place, and she said it’s in the same price range.” Clarke looked around and added, “This store is larger than Mama's Kitchen. Plus they had a lot of overhead with the kitchen and everything. This place wouldn’t have the same cost output.”

Lexa continued to gaze over the place then stated, “I think we need to sleep on this Clarke. Buying this property is a big decision, and I’m not entirely sure we should rush into this. Maybe we should talk to your mom and Rob about it.”

“This should be your decision Lexa and don’t, please don’t feel you should say yes on my account. Changing jobs and going into business should be your choice and whatever you decide I’m behind you one hundred percent.” Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke's shoulder and pulled her close as they leaned against the rail and she contemplated owning a store.

They met with the realtor and Jo gave them all the information on the store, and they left in their separate cars for home. Lexa made a quick call to Clarke before she got home saying she needed to make a detour and would see her in a bit.

~

Clarke worried as she gazed out of their front window waiting for Lexa's car to come around the corner and stepped away into the living and plopped down on the sofa. Two hours, and still no Lexa, not even a call. She mentally scolded herself for pushing this idea on to her out of the blue. They rarely fought about anything and when they did it was never with a raised voice, but there was those off times when Lexa would go silent. Her mood, unreadable. Clarke knew damn well to back off and give her the space to breathe and think.

Clarke recalled the last time it happened, earlier this year. Lexa had gone an entire day without a single word and sat outside in the cold under the covered patio with a blanket around her as the rain poured down and didn’t move. Clarke didn’t know if it was depression or life catching up with her. She would want to be alone with herself and her thoughts, and later Lexa would act as though nothing had happened, and she was back to her old self and never talked about why she needed time to herself. Clarke hoped that this wouldn’t be one of those times. Her heart jumped when she heard the garage door open, and picked a magazine to hide she had been worried.

Lexa put a couple of shopping bags on the kitchen counter and look out towards the living room. “Hey, sorry I'm late. I needed to make a few stops while I was out.”

“No problem.” Clarke continued to read the magazine, and Lexa came in stood in front of her and tilted her head.

“Reading anything interesting Clarke?” Lexa said with a smile and righted the upside down magazine over to its proper position.

_Busted_. Clarke tossed the magazine aside. “I was worried about where you went is all.” She grabbed Lexa’s hand and pulled her down to sit next to her. “Listen, I’m sorry about pushing the idea of starting a business. It was too much, and I should have talked to you first before...” Lexa put her fingers over her mouth to halt her from talking.

“You need to stop.” The edges of Clarke’s mouth turned down, and she looked away from her. A hand on her chin and Lexa turned her face back at her. “Hey, I’m not talking about the checking out the store. What I mean is, you need to stop beating yourself up for thinking about my future, our future. Like you’ve gone too far. You're overthinking this babe.”

Lexa tucked a bit of blond hair around an ear as Clarke nodded and decided to break the ice about her silence. “Can I asked you a question?”  
  
“Always.”

Clarke needed some room to talk and maybe a little time to find her words and stood up and walked to the sliding glass door and gazed out over the yard. Keeping her back to Lexa she stated, “I sometimes get scared, Lexa. About us. I worry that you not happy. Not happy with me. Those times, when I can’t reach you, and you go silent is agonizing for me. I know to give you space because it would be what I would want.”

She didn’t hear Lexa approach her from behind but felt her arms go around her waist and Lexa leaned her head against hers. Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and she wiped them away.

“I didn’t hear a question, Clarke.”

Clarke leaned into her embrace and closed her eyes as she spilled out her question, “Why do you zone out and go so quiet sometimes?”

Lexa stepped in front of Clarke and put her arms on her shoulders. She leaned her forehead against Clarke’s and then pulled her into a hug.

“I should have explained this a long time ago, what's going on in my stupid brain.” She led Clarke back to the sofa and got comfy with a pillow on her lap and put a little distance between them. “We've known each other for what? Over twenty-two years?" Those words shot like an arrow to Clarke's soul as she watched Lexa worked out what she needed to say. Giving Clarke too much time to contemplate the what ifs? What if it was more than just her job Lexa wanted a change? Uproot from their home and wanted a bigger change than Clarke was prepared for? She watched Lexa settle her thoughts as Clarke held her breath and pushed own her fear and Lexa said, "I have this overwhelming doubt I can't explain. I'm not lonely, or I want to be somewhere else. It’s not that at all. I guess you could call it grief, that creeps up on me like some forgotten pain, reminding me how mortal we are. I thought that if I get some space and work out in my head, then I won’t bring you down with me. I wasn’t aware that it affected you so much and for that I’m sorry. It's not that I don’t want to talk to you, it's just I can't find the right words. I don't understand why I feel so sad. It could be that I miss my dad, could be my hormones acting up. Sometimes I’m so happy with you I’m afraid of losing you." Lexa paused and closed her eyes and said this last bit as if saying it would make it come to reality. "I don’t think I could survive without you Clarke and that scares me to death.”

Relief washed over Clarke and poured out her hope, “I know it’s easy for me to say, don’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet. We don’t know our future, but we do know our present. Clarke raised her hand up and brought Lexa’s up flat against hers then threaded her fingers with hers. “This is real, we are living now, in this time, and whatever future holds for us we will always be in it, together.”

Lexa looked into her eyes then down to her mouth, and pushed Clarke flat on her back and lifted her leg to straddle her body.

“You’ve been so sweet to me today. I think you need to reward you, what do you say Clarke?”

“Um..” Clarke pushed down the little irritation of Lexa's method of changing the subject. She had more she needed to know, but with her hungry girl staring down at her, those questions could wait. The issues, still unsettled, evaporated like mist in the rising sun over a patch of earth, when Lexa smiled mirroring her own.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Lexa put her palms on either side of Clarke’s head and adjusted her body to lay entirely on her. With her bare legs on the inside Clarke’s and her hips between her legs.

Before Lexa could move down and kiss her, Clarke pressed her hands against her shoulders and held her place as she hovered over her. Lexa’s hair fell over one shoulder, and her green eyes blinked in question at why Clarke stopped her.

“Are you trying to change the subject, Lexa? Not that I’m completely objecting.”

She shooked her head no but uttered a quiet yes. Clarke loosened her arms at seeing Lexa confusion, and laid her head down on her shoulder, lacing their fingers and tucked them under her chin. Lexa ran a finger over the ring on Clarke’s finger. It always had a calming effect that along with the closeness of their bodies. A bond with Lexa that tugged deep in her heart.

Clarke rubbed her back and let the peace between them settled in. “A bookstore?” Lexa finally said.

“Shh,” Clarke whispered. She felt Lexa take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

They laid in the peace of each other arms as Clarke could sense Lexa’s breath slowed in a cadence like she might have fallen asleep. She thought about the things Lexa said that frighten her, and although she didn’t share the same concerns, it worried her that her partner felt so vulnerable, even as brave as she been over her life. With everything it had thrown at her, Lexa stood resiliently; but it still took its toll. Life was always uncertain, and her belief was you live your life to the fullest. Try and reach the golden ring on the carousel of life. Be bold, if you got knocked down, get right back up. Show the world you were not afraid to live.

Lexa whispered, “I want you.” It was a quiet yet bold statement that tugged at Clarke’s heart.

“I want you too, Lexa.”

Clarke rocked her hips and flipped her over. It was her turn to hover over Lexa. Watching for a reaction, and saw it when Lexa swallowed hard and gazed at her mouth and back up into her eyes.

Clarke shifted down and lightly grazed her lips against hers, pulling back and moved to kiss the hollow of her neck at taking a long lick up the edge of her ear.

Lexa shuddered and moaned, putting her hands over her head in submission to Clarke. Although in the relationship, it was Lexa that usually took the lead, there were this oft times when Lexa would give in to Clarke's need to be on top.

“As much as I would like to take you on our sofa, let’s move this to our bed,” Clarke uttered.

“Soon, babe.” Lexa grew restless and moved to press her mouth to hers. Licking inside and running her hands under her shirt covering her back. She raked her short nails down and then inside her shorts covering her ass and pulled her tight against her open legs. Clarke moaned into her mouth, and she humped against her.

“God you feel so good Clarke, I love to feel the weight of your body on me and when you move against me.” Her words cut off as Clarke slid her tongue inside.

She pulled back. “I need you naked, now,” Clarke said as red tinged her cheeks when she heard the need in her words.

It was the going on early evening, and they hadn’t planned what was for dinner or even any sort of plans but getting naked and getting to bed as soon as they made to the bedroom door. Shutting out the pets out of the room, Lexa back up and sat down when her back of her knees hit the edge of their bed.

Clarke stripped her clothes off and quickly had Lexa naked. She stopped and kneeled down and opened her legs and her eyes saw the wetness coating inside of her legs. Already so wet for her, the same condition she felt between her thighs.

She lifted Lexa’s legs and put them over her shoulders. She watched Lexa's face, for her reaction as she took her first swipe across her slit with her tongue. Lexa’s arched her back and legs pulled her closer.

Clarke groaned into her pussy. Lexa’s slick was pure, liquid essence of her love for her. And her scent was layered with sexuality and want. Clarke would lose herself between her legs and needed to get focused on bringing Lexa to completion. But days like this, she wanted to push inside of her, touch her intimately and make her feel the love she felt with every fiber of her being. Take it slow and turn her strong partner into jelly. Legs were quivering when she hit a particularly sensitive spot, and she searched for it again trying to connect to the same area and to feel her shake against her.

When she could feel Lexa getting close, she felt her hands in her hair to keep her concentrated on bringing her over the edge. Stilling her hips and Clarke pushed her tongue deeper inside. Clarke brought her hand up and nudged the hood of her clit back and wrapped her lips around it and moved her tongue quickly over the swollen tip.

Lexa arched her back and held still as her orgasm sent her over and nearly dislodged Clarke’s mouth from her. As and she quieted, and her hips settled down on the bed. Clarke looked up to see her partner. Her chest heaving and she caught her breath. A sight she never grew tired of seeing.

“God, you’re so beautiful when you come,” Clarke breathed out.

Lexa covered her face and peeked through an opening between them and suck her tongue out her.

Clarke laugh at her, and they moved further on the bed, and Clarke collapsed on top of her. Clarke felt satisfied that she made Lexa feel the love she carried in her heart. She felt Lexa's hands running down her back again thought of just dropping off to sleep for just a moment until she felt Lexa moved to the bedside table.

Clarke propped herself on one elbow and watched her Lexa struggled to open the top drawer. “What’d you have in mind babe?” Clarke drawled and ran her fingers over the swells of her breasts and pinched a nipple.

Lexa rolled her eyes and tried to push Clarke off of her to reach for their strap-on. “If you can’t figure it out.”

Clarke laughed and moved aside so Lexa could get the item in question. Lexa was proficient in using toys, and Clarke loved it when she was deep inside of her, and so she could wrap her whole body around her.

Lexa added a condom and lubricated both sides and fixed the smaller end inside of her and quickly tightened the straps around her butt and legs. Lexa was on her knees with the toy sticking out between her legs, and she pushed Clarke’s knees apart and bent down with her ass in the air she took a long lick of her slit and up to her clit. Sucking on the protruding tip then moved it back to let Clarke see as her tongue moved slowly around the swollen bundle so she could watch the show.

Clarke did try to watch her bath her sex with her tongue, but seeing her eyes looking back up her and then closing as she took another lick and hummed at her taste. It was too much, and she slammed her head back against the pillow.

Lexa didn’t keep her waiting for long before she positioned herself over her and used one hand to guide the toy to just inside. Rubbing it over her wetness, better to ease inside of Clarke.

“Babe, let me know if it hurts, I want to slide into you easily.”

Clarke blushed at her words and could only nod her head when Lexa pushed all the way inside.

“Is that okay?”

“Oh God, yes Lexa like that but slow.”

What Lexa did next was new. She maneuvered her arms under either side of her legs over her shoulder so she could penetrate her deeper as she fucked her. It surprised her how strong Lexa had become. Her arms, back, and her torso had the beginnings of tone muscles, and she was using her legs to push deep inside of her. Curling herself as she held herself over Clarke to watch her face for a reaction.

Clarke’s clit was throbbing sinfully at the sensation of Lexa’s rolling in and out of her. Not too fast, just slow deep penetrations. She held herself up just high enough to grazed her breast against Clarke’s as she found her rhythm.

Lexa sucked on her lower lip as she watched Clarke's breast move upward at each thrust inside of her. Sweat began to bead between her chest and run down between their bodies. Lexa increased her thrusting hips, and Clarke could feel her climax thrumming between her legs the deeper Lexa pushed inside of her.

Lexa moaned out, “I’m...oh god...Clarke...I’m going to come again.”

Clarke held still as her orgasm started and rode out her climax. Lexa made one final pushed and collapsed onto of her, and breathed hard catching her breath.

She pulled out and detached to the toy from inside her and tossed it to the side of the bed.

“That was...” Lexa trailed off, unable to form a complete sentence.

A sweaty and spent Clarke let out a quiet. “Yiyiyiyiyi!” mimicking a certain Warrior Princess.

Lexa let out a genuine belly laugh. “Oh, so you think you're Xena, and I'm Gabrielle, the bard?”

“No quite the opposite, but no subtext here babe. You are the real Princess.”

“God, I love you.” Lexa pushed the damp hair from her face and laid back down on top her.

The room grew quiet as Clarke ran her hands up and down her warrior's back when the _Bard’s_ stomach started to growl, and Lexa pushed herself up at gazed down at Clarke’s belly.

“Ok, I get the hint, time to feed the monster.”

However, they didn't move from the bed. Clarke's emotions welled up again at what Lexa shared with her. Nothing was settled, but their bond was still strong as the first day they admitted the love for each other. For Lexa and her future, well she would have to wait and see, it this was the right move for the both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be triggering for some people. Without spoiling the story, please read it with caution. FYI: I don’t want to scare off any gentle readers, suffice to say, Our girls will be okay, and no one was raped.
> 
> Sometimes current events can bleed into your story unplanned. In this case, it deals with attempt assault and the aftermath.

_August 12, 2000, Good Samaritan Hospital, Virginia_

Clarke lifted her head and checked the time on the clock hanging near the muted television on the wall opposite of Lexa's blanket covered feet. It was close to three am but seemed much later.

It was only hours ago that they held her fund drive at a local hotel, and they were dancing under twinkle lights as the night grew magical.

The event had started off with such high hopes for a night of fun and socializing, that there was no way to predict they would in up at the hospital with Lexa clinging to life after being overdosed with a so-called, date rape drug.

An oxygen mask now covered Lexa's mouth to help her breath while the drone of monitors kept time with the slow beat of her heart. The doctor said it was too slow causing her own heart to race.

Lexa had been unconscious for hours since she...Clarke paused and closed her eyes and laid her forehead against Lexa's hand, held in hers. She couldn't think about what had almost happened if she hadn't got to Lexa in time. Her mother pulled her off of the guy that drugged Lexa just as she was about to stomp him to death.

The painful memories of the evening before crashed into her head and wondered how she missed all of the clues.

~

The sign at the entrance to the Fantasia Ballroom at the Haymaker Hotel announced The 3rd Annual No-Kill Shelter Fund Drive and the theme of the evening: Stepping Through the Mirror (Who is Your Alter Ego?)

Clarke arrived early to set up for the event along Winnie and Russell, a couple of members of her staff to finish decorating for the theme of the evening. Scattered around the room were pictures of pets that needed forever homes, faux funhouse mirrors, lighting and other decorations making the modern ballroom feel festive.

During the function, there would be drawings for tickets to the movies, car washes and meals at local restaurants that donated to help the cause. Mama’s Kitchen had generously offered two dinners, and Clarke would paint a portrait of one lucky pet owner's pet. The grand prize was an excursion to New York and overnight stay at a hotel and tickets to see the Broadway musical Cats.

~

Clarke adjusted her wings on her back after she commandeered a bathroom to prepare in secret, and much to her staff’s coming surprised, she wasn’t dressed as an animal. She was pretty good at keeping her alter ego a secret, and her employees had placed bets to guess her costume. If no one chose correctly, the money would go to the staff’s slush fund for coffee and other expenses in the office and to keep Clarke honest; they kept her the dark with everyone's guess.

Lexa arrived later with Clarke’s mom. Maggie's alter ego, the blues singer Janis Joplin, wearing beaded necklaces, a feathered boa, and rose-colored glasses. Her husband, Rob came as the dapper illusionist, Harry Houdini, who had a few tricks up his sleeves. He was a dentist and to ease the younger patients; he would do tricks to take their mind off sitting in the scary dentist chair.

Lexa’s alter ego a buff version of Cupid the Goddess of Love and Erotic desire. Having spent her summer working out and getting a cute tan, Clarke encouraged her to show it off. So Lexa took up on her offer if she could get her into a dress.

Lexa costume came with white feathered wings, a quiver latch to her back and bow, draped over one defined shoulder and fixed her hair in a french braid that hung down her toned back. Her top was a revealing red and gold bodice that clung to her body and showed just a bit of abs and wore a pair of dark red silk shorts. Both biceps wrapped with bans of silver and at each wrist, silver cuffs. Her face hid behind a red mask, with her green eyes peering through.

No one was prepared when Clarke finally exited from the ladies room. Well except for a very lucky and highly turned on Cupid.

Clarke's hair was up with soft ringlets along her back and near her face. She dressed in a light creamy white gown with a thin violet sash that attached to one shoulder, and the other one laid bare. The long dress flowed to the ground and wrapped around her waist and just under her breasts was a gold chain that connected at the center and hung low below her belly. She also had wings that showed translucent in the light, a white mask to cover her face and wore Lexa's favorite dark red lipstick.

Lexa pulled out an arrow out of the quiver and pretended to shoot the Goddess with her love-tipped arrow as everyone gathered around begging to tell them who she was, but she held up one finger, wagging no and sauntered over to Cupid a planted a kiss on her lips. Taking a moment to wipe the smear of lipstick off of her cheek and show her she kept her promise.

As she turned around, she lifted her hand and said in the most sultry voice she could, “I am Psyche, the Goddess of the Soul, and my heart belongs to Cupid."

Moans from her staff followed by laughter from the guests that surrounded the godly couple.

Kerri and Mia joined the group around them. “Damn girls!” Kerri said, “You guys look hot.” Kerri came as Alice in Wonderland and Mia, the Mad Hatter.

“Well, that sure was worth the wait,” Russell said. Parting the group and showing off as the one an only Cher in a tight-fitting black dress and he belted out, "If I could turn back time..."

“No fair, I guessed Gabrielle, the bard,” Winnie pouted and adjusted her costume and overstuffed, Winnie the Pooh.

"Enough, Miss Pooh. Dance with me." Russell grabbed her hand and spun her around took her to the dance floor, with Kerri and Mia joining them in the dance.

Clarke called out, “You guys need to catch up on your Greek and Roman mythology.” She laughed and joined her partner, and family.

Maggie held Clarke's hands. “You look lovely Clarke. Did you make the dress yourself?”

“Oh no, Lexa and I found our outfits at a costume store. I was lucky that the dress fit. I thought it would be too big.”

Lexa wrapped her arm around her waist a pulled her close. “Clarke makes a perfect Goddess.” Lexa gave her a dazzling smile and wrapping a ringlet around one finger.

"Please, Miss Cupid. You're smoking hot in your tiny shorts." Clarke fanned herself then found Lexa's hand and pulled her out onto the floor to start the first slow dance of the evening. Other couples join them as the lights overhead went dim and above them, and twinkling fairy lights lit the room with sparkling lights.

Clarke whispered, “So, I think tonight is a success.”

"Me too," Lexa said as she wrapped her arms around on Clarke's waist. "Everything turned out perfect."

Clarke hummed, "They're playing our song." It was a new favorite for both of them. The song was called, _By Your Side, by Sade._

 _You think I'd leave your side baby_  
_You know me better than that_  
_You think I'd leave you down_  
_When you're down on your knees_  
_I wouldn't do that_  
_I'll tell you-you're right when you want_  
_And if only you could see into me_

Clarke rested her arms around Lexa's shoulder, and she softly sang into Lexa's ear, as she hummed along. They made sweet harmony as they sway to the music and Clarke's heart filled to about busting. She was also getting some pretty clear signals from Lexa that tonight when they got home, they'd continue this dance in bed when the song changed to another slow one.

"So after we blow this popsicle joint do you stop for a quick bite on the way home?"

“Anything thing for you, my Goddess. But, damn you look gorgeous tonight, honey. I don't know how long you're going to stay in your gown. I'm about ready to rip it off your body."

Clarke laughed as she whispered into her ear, “Wait till we get home." Clarke held her girl as they swayed to the music. Everything had turned out as she had planned and nudged her nose into Lexa's neck and a snuck a long lingering kiss when she felt a pinch on her ass and jumped. "What the hell!”

Clarke quickly turned when she felt an unfamiliar hand against her butt and knew it couldn't have been Lexa but did see the back of a person that was standing a bit too close to them, and he backed away and blended into the other couple’s dancing.

“Is everything okay?” Lexa asked.

“Not sure, I just want to keep an eye on the fellow over there.” She tipped her chin as not to make it obvious. Lexa looked out of habit, but couldn't have seen a thing because her eyes were closed when she kissed Clarke back.

“I talked to Maggie about the property you showed me.”

“And?”

“She wants to check out. I told we could stop by, maybe next Monday on your day off.”

“Sounds like a date. I take it you are considering a change of jobs?”

“Maybe. Right now I want to get a feeling from Maggie to see what she thinks. I wasn’t sure at first, but...” Lexa jumped. “Someone just touched me, Clarke.” Clarke looked over her shoulder, but between the crowd of people around her, she couldn’t spot who it was.

“So I didn’t imagine it either." The music changed cueing Clarke that the time was getting close to the raffle. "How about we get a drink before the fun starts?” Lexa nodded, and Clarke pulled her away towards the bar, keeping an eye out for the jerk that was getting too handsy.

They waited in line as the customers ahead got their drinks. Lexa pulled Clarke close and draped a protective arm around her waist.

“I’m curious who’s playing games with us,” Lexa said and leaned back, gazing up and down the bar, but no one stood out. But it was apparent that she didn’t know about half the people.

“What can I get you lovely ladies?” The bartender said wiping off the bar in front of them.

“I’ll have white wine,” Lexa said.

“Make it two.”

“Coming right up.”

Lexa pulled out a twenty from the front pocket of her shorts and laid it on the counter.

Behind Lexa, a man appeared and leaned against the railing. He wasn’t dressed in a costume and wasn’t anyone she knew. His eyes gave Lexa the once-over.

Clarke moved closer to Lexa, as he approached, apparently unaware they were together, and her arm held protectively around her.

“Hey, you’re cute. My name is Cliff. What are you? I know you’re a cupid doll. Say, you want to get out of here and have some fun with me?" He was the typical overly aggressive businessman and probably a guest of the hotel.

Clarke pulled Lexa closer to her. “Back off buddy; she’s with me.”

"It's Cliff." He looked her up and down. “God, your hot too. Why don’t we make it a threesome?”

“How original, but no,” Clarke said and put her body between the guy and her partner.

Lexa rolled her eyes at the guy’s comments, but after the drinks came, they left him standing there to pester some other guests and walked to where Maggie and Rob were waiting at the edge of the dance floor.

“Cheers, guys.” Maggie held up her drink at the toast. “Congratulations on a successful fund drive.”

“Thanks, Mom.” It came out a little harsh, and she was still irritated with the guy at the bar. Seeing that he was now leaning over the bar annoying the female bartender.

“I wish there was a way to keep out the clientele staying at the hotel. We've started to get a few stragglers hanging around,” Clarke said.

“Don’t let them bother you, honey. You worked hard at making the shelter work, and I’m so proud of you I could just bust.”

“Thanks.” She smiled at her mother and pulled her into a hug. “I couldn’t do it without your support. Listen, I’ve got to hand out the prizes if a few and then let’s dance!” Clarke didn't want this ass to put a damper on the evening and guided Lexa with her to the front of the room to the edge of the stage. Lexa waited near a table, and Clarke approached the microphone. Next to it was a fishbowl filled with raffle tickets and Clarke motioned to Winnie to the stage to help her give out the prizes.

“Is this thing on?” She tapped the mic and crowd began clapping. “I guess so. Hey, everyone. I want to thank you for coming out and supporting our no-kill shelter. It means so much to me that these unwanted animals will have a chance to bring joy and love to families in our community. I couldn’t have done it without all of your help.”

A voice from the crowd yelled out, “We love you!”

“I love you too.” Clarke laughed holding up her hand to block the lights and see into the crowd and waved at one of her staff.

~

Cliff leaned against the railing of the bar and watched from a distance at the pretty brunette. He caught sight of earlier when he saw the sign to the party and almost bump into her. The girl peaked his interest, not seeing any guy hanging off her arm.

He waited while working on his first drink, building up his courage and then he'd asked her to hang out with him. His plans blew up when he saw her kissing the curvy blond. And it was clear they were more than friends.

A slow rage built and pictured his next step. That was to cop a feel that was part of a movie he played over and over in his head to get right. Taking what he wanted, what he desired and after he fucked her, she wouldn't be into girls anymore.

He finished his drink and tossed a couple of bills at the bartender and moved to stand behind her. The girl's attention focused on the bossy bitch on stage. He watched and waited until he saw his opening and she placed her wine glass on the table and clapped along with the crowd.

~

“I’ve got a few prizes here that I think you will like. Miss Winnie, please draw out our first winner.”

Winnie put her hand in the large clear fishbowl and pulled out a ticket and gave it to Clarke.

~

He fingered the pills in his pocket. One would make the girl pliable. Two would be like fucking a corpse.

~

“For dinner at Mama’s Kitchen, the ticket with the winner number of...”

~

He passed his hand over the wine glass dropping one, then accidentally sending the second pill into the glass. "Fuck. He stepped back and wondered if he should ditch the idea. But when she took a long drink of her wine, it made his dick shudder in anticipation. His mind made up he stood behind the girl and waited.

~

Lexa started to feel odd and placed her wine glass on a table almost missing the top and spilling the remainder of her wine. Feeling woozy she needed to sit down when a hand on her back held her upright, and another hand found hers to steady her gait. She lost all control over her actions as the person guided her away from the stage and through the crowds as they parted to let them leave.

She knew it wasn’t right, but didn’t know why. The lights were fuzzy, and her legs were heavy and wanted to sleep. Nothing made any sense and leaned her head down against a shoulder.

~

The rest of the awards were handed out with the Grand Prize going to elderly couple that dressed as Robin Hood and Maid Marian. Clarke invited them to come on stage and take a picture with her. After the glare of the flashing cleared her vision, she looked out for Lexa to asked her to join her on stage as a surprise, but she was gone. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds and quickly scanned the room. Finding Lexa by the wings on her back she watching in horror as the same man from the bar was practically carrying Lexa and taking her out of the room as the doors shut behind them.

A jolt of adrenaline rushed through her body and bolted down the steps, dodging her way through the crowded room and ran into her mom and Rob and yelled as she passed them, “Somethings not right with Lexa."

~

Lexa, unaware of her being or control over her movements sensed arms around her keeping her upright. When a strange, uneven voice was soothing her and moving her down an unfamiliar hallway. Her world grew foggy and confusing, but unaware that it wasn’t right until she was pressed up against a wall and the smell of booze, filled her nose. Her words felt heavy on her tongue as she tried to cry out, but lost any remaining control.

~

Clarke ran from the room and looked up and down the hallway filled with lingering guests and hotel employees and yelled out for Lexa when a bellboy approached. “Have you seen a brunette dressed in red, wearing wings?"

"He laughed then said, "She looked pretty wasted with her date. I think they went that away," and hooked a thumb over his shoulder towards the hallway behind him. Clarke cursed as she hiked up her gown and sprinted towards the end of the hall, looking right then left and at the last moment saw a door at the far end close.

_Must run faster._

A rage Clarke had never felt before surged through every part of her body. Her movements become fluid and shot down the passageway, yanking the door open and found a stranger over her partner laying on a sofa. Lexa's eyes were closed, and the man was trying to assault her.

Clarke's world narrowed down red-hot boiling anger. It was almost an out of body experience as she watched her hand reach out and grab the stranger by his collar and pull him off of Lexa. When she saw he had his zipper was down and limp dick hanging out she kneed in his groin as hard as she could, and he keened at the blow and collapsed onto the ground whimpering and started to throw up. A quick glance at her passed out partner made her rage grow and whaled on him, kicking him as hard as she could in the stomach, his back and head over and over. He grunted with every blow as he continued to puke.

“CLARKE!”

Just as Clarke was about to smash his face to a pulp with her foot, her mother pulled her from behind and held her back. Rob stood over the guy and pulled his hands behind his back and leaned on them with his knee to keep in place.

He moaned and tried to get up as he spat blood from his mouth. “What the fuck, get off me,” The man drawled through his bloody lips. “We were was just having some fun.”

“Like hell you were. Call the police,” Rob yelled out at the approaching staff and hauled the guy up and out of the room. The security officers from the hotel took him from Rob and put him back on the ground with his hands behind his back as he struggled.

Maggie patted Lexa on her cheek trying to wake her. “She really out of it, how much did she drink?”

“We only have one glass, Mom. Do you think he might have drugged her?”

Maggie checked her eyes and saw that they were glassy, unfocus, and her breathing was too shallow. “Call an ambulance. You maybe you’re right Clarke.”

Lexa’s clothes were still on her. To Clarke's relief, he only managed to get her belt open. Clarke was seething, and it was all she could do not the bring her fists down on him and beat him to death. The manager stepped into the room, and his hand went to his mouth.

“We need an ambulance. We think that my partner was drugged by one of your guests,” Clarke stated and went to Lexa’s side.

“Right away, Ms. Griffin.” He hurried away as the crowd from the party started to mingle around the open door. Whispering and worried faces watched her while Rob stood in the doorway and motion the gathering crowd away from the room.

Clarke leaned over, kissing Lexa on her forehead. Lexa didn’t move. Whatever he had drugged her with had utterly knocked her out.

“Honey, prop her up and get behind her.”

Wordlessly, Clarke pulled Lexa up and sat down behind her so she could hold her to her chest. Rocking her slowly and whispering that everything was going to be okay.

The flashing picture of this rapist over her partner shook her to her core, and if she hadn’t found her in time... A seethed red-hot anger started to build once more. She wanted him to suffer; a deep righteous desired to rip his dick off his body and shove it down his throat. Her anger frightened her as violent thoughts kept her focus on what she would like to do with this guy if she had a chance.

A hand to her tear-stained face and her eyes went to her mom. “She’ll be okay, honey. You got to her just in time.”

“But, not in time for him to put his hands on her, if I was just a few minutes too late, he could have...” Trailing off and not wanting to put those imagines in her mind of what could have happened.

“I’m going to say this to you this one time Clarke. You are going to be strong for Lexa. Not that you always haven’t been, but this might be different. She’s going to be confused and angry, and she may lash out you. She might even blame you for this, even though she would know none of this is your fault. The drug could have altered her sense of self, and she will be afraid. That’s why you can’t let her show how scared you are. Treat her the same, love her the same.”

“How could I not, Mom, she means everything to me.”

Maggie cupped her cheek. “We will be there for you every step of the way. She was lucky honey. I see young women, sometimes men come into my emergency room in this condition and worst, they have no recollection, but they know that someone violated them. Sometimes with no idea who did it. They are hurt and confused. Lexa was lucky because you stop him. Never forget that.”

~

Tears filled her vision as Clarke's heart grew heavy at reliving the last moments at the hotel. The initial tests revealed that Lexa was drugged with Rohypnol and treated accordingly. After police took Clarke’s statement, they informed her the suspect had a warrant for rape in another state, and that Lexa was lucky that she had stopped him in time. Still, once Lexa was awake, they would do an exam of her body for any trace of the perpetrator and took her outfit away as evidence.

In her mind, she wasn’t in time. The creep had his hands on her partner. She was hoping from what her mother had told her, Lexa might not even remember what had happened to her. But for Clarke's sake, the images were seared into her mind.

She wanted to scream to heavens as nervous energy raged through her body. Scolding herself on how she could have let this happened? The facts were she did save Lexa, but it seemed insufficient, sitting next to her partner now hooked up to machines to keep her alive.

~

Lexa's hand slightly move, causing Clarke to gaze up at her partner as her eyes slowly came open and tried to focus on her face.

“Hey, there you are,” Clarke said standing up and kissing her forehead.

“Where am I?” Lexa croaked out. Her throat was dry, and Clarke brought her a plastic cup of water to drink.

“You’re in the hospital, babe,” Clarke said.

“What happened to me?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

Lexa looked up at her, frowning and trying to recall. “I remember dancing with you.” She looked away confused and shook her head. “I don’t remember anything after that.”

Her mother told Clarke to be honest with Lexa to help her recover. She moved the stray hairs out of her face and kept her voice steady, “Someone drugged you, but I got to you in time, and he didn’t..." Lexa blinked. "He didn't assault you, and the police have him custody."

"Who?"

"Do you remember the guy at the bar?" Lexa shook her head. "That's okay because I do. He must have slipped something into your drink when you weren’t looking.”

A knock on the door and Maggie arrived, dressed in her nurse's uniform and checked on her vitals. “Your heart rate is increasing as well as your blood pressure. That’s a good sign. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to hold you till morning to be sure.” Patting her arm and leaning in to kiss it her cheek but stopped when Lexa's flinched. Clarke darted a quick glance at her mom. Watching as she nodded her head and moved back.

Lexa’s eyes welled up and spilled over. “I don’t understand.” Frantically looking at Clarke for an answer. She moved onto the bed and held her around the waist. “I’m staying with you, okay. You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happened to you, I swear.”

Clarke had changed earlier into some spare scrubs, and Maggie covered them with a blanket and lowered the light and left them alone in the room.

Through her tears, Lexa said, "I feel like I'm dying, Clarke. I feel like I have to concentrate just to breath and if I don't..."

"Shh, it's just the effects of the drug. It will wear off, I promise. Is it okay if I lay next to you?" Lexa nodded her head, and she moved closer if it was possible and curled her body tighter around her and started to rock her.

“I’m so sorry that this happened to you, honey.” The weight of the attempted assault wouldn’t leave her mind. If Lexa couldn’t remember, Clarke knew she could never forget.

~

The hospital released Lexa the next morning, and on the drive back home she was silent. Somber thoughts remained of the night ruined by a stranger. Her body felt violated by the examination and probing by the nurse as they completed the rape test. But, no Clarke words over and over said she wasn't raped, but with no clear recollection, she had to rely upon on what Clarke told her. A trust that she had in Clarke, but no memory endured, only of the nagging sensation of strange hands touching her.

Lexa started to shiver when they got to the house as their pets greeted them and the energy they put off caused her shaking to escalate.

“I can't...." Lexa rushed from the living room and into the back, saying over he shoulder, "I need to get warm Clarke.”

“Let me feed the guys, and I’ll be right there.”

Lexa shut the bedroom door sat down on the bed, their bed. The comfortable, familiar feeling of being home surrounding her. Still, she couldn't shake the sense of being exposed. Vulnerable to the whims of fate. One wrong turn, one mistake, one wrong step, and her world would spin out of her control, and shaking escalated.

Silently Lexa's tears filled her vision and looked down at her hands to blurry to see clearly. Remembering a rough callous hand on her and rubbed at an imaginary stain covering them.

But when Clarke's voice carried through the house as she talked to their pets, that familiar sound of home brought a warmth to her chest, and her breaths start to even out.

~

Clarke uncharacteristically knocked on their bedroom door and poked her head inside. "Hey, if you still need help I can help you undress." Not waiting for an answer, Clarke reached for her shirt, making Lexa flinched, and pull back. “Hey, it’s just me."

It was an odd mixture of panic and relief. “I..it’s okay.” Clarke quickly removed their clothing and guided Lexa into the bathroom, her legs still shaky and pausing as she turned on the water to shower, waiting until it grew warm then guided Lexa into the stall and stepped behind her. Turning her around and pulling her to her chest.

Lexa’s tears started to fall in earnest making Clarke remember when her mother died, the same deep distressing sobs from her partner filled the stall. It tore through her soul of the loss on that day so long ago, and now the frightening possibility of what could have happened to Lexa.

Clarke couldn’t hold back her tears, as she cried with her. Lexa shifted in her arms and pulled back. Moving the wet hair that had fallen into her eyes.

“Thank you for always protecting me Clarke.” That caused more tears to fall from her.

She sniffed and put her face into Lexa’s neck, smelling her scent calmed her. The press of their bodies together felt like home. She sensed a surge of strength gather in herself and pulled her tighter.

Clarke’s tears tapered off. “I know I can’t change what might have happened to you last night. I have this anger in me that’s starting to scare me, Lexa. I wanted to kill him, and I know I would have if my mom didn’t stop me. I would have ripped him apart with my bare hands."

“You’re my hero Clarke.”

The reluctant hero, smiled back although sheepishly. “I wanted to kill him, Lexa. That can’t be right.”

“I would feel the same way if someone tried to hurt you.” Lexa pulled her tighter. “It’s over, and we’re safe. That’s all that matters now.”

The warm water continued to pour over them, taking the time to reconnect and wash the ugly memories of last night down the drain.

~

Clean and in comfortable summer clothes the two rested on the sofa with arms wrapped around one another. The dogs and cat laid quietly on the rug below them as music played in the background. The screen door in the living room let the warm breeze flow through the air. Lexa was dozing, and Clarke held her against her chest and rubbed her fingers along her back.

Her mind was still racing, and she knew, for Lexa’s sake she needed to find the strength to put this behind them. But the violation of a stranger placing his hands on her partner was almost too much to endure. A lingering doubt of what he did in the seconds before she stopped the assault still felt like it was too long and her body jerked in response.

“I can feel you thinking. Clarke.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Shh. I wasn't asleep." Lexa sat up and rubbed her face, "I want to get up and do something, maybe go somewhere.”

“What did you have in mind.” Clarke sat up with her.

“How about a walk?” The dogs immediately jumped at hearing the word and began turning around in circles unable to contain their excitement.  
Lexa leaned over the sofa and smiled as she said, “Who wants to go for a walk?”

Lance, the lab sat down obediently while Sara and Belle, the two mutts went crazy running to the door and back, trying to hurry them along.

~

They strolled the shaded tree-lined street with summer sun high overhead, the sounds of lawnmowers, the scent of orange blossom lingered in the air, and found themselves standing in front of Lexa’s childhood home. The lawn now littered with toys, and two young children, a boy, and girl were playing in the sprinkler, cooling off in the hot sun. A young mother sat on the porch rocking a baby as she rested in the shade.

Lexa waved at the kids, and a young girl with dripping wet dark hair saw her and waved back as if she knew her and began to walk over to the edge of the lawn.

“Is it okay if they pet my dog?” Lexa called out to the mother, and she nodded and then stood up to walk over to them. The young woman had dark hair like the girl. The little boy with light brown hair ran to her mother.

“What’s their names?” The little girl asked.

“The big guy is Lance, and the little ones are Sara and Belle.”

“Can I pet them?”

"You sure can." Lexa guided Lance over, and he sat down in front of her wagging his tail and tongue. The little girl gingerly put her hand out to touch his back and squealed when Lance turned and licked her face.

“That tickles.” She scrunched her shoulders and wiped her face.

“He likes you. What’s your name?”

“I’m Jessica, and this is my brother Peter." Little Jessica cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered, "My baby sister is Emily, and she’s only five months old, and she doesn’t do anything yet, she’s too little.” And she smiled up at Lexa as she continued to pet Lance. Her brother ducked behind her mother when she walked to the group.

She held her hand out. “Hi, my name is June.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Lexa, and this is my partner Clarke.”

“Nice to meet you,” Clarke said pulling the other two dogs over and away from her legs.

“I used to live here a long time ago. I was just a little older than your daughter’s age,” Lexa said.

“Oh really, would you like to come inside and see the place again?"

“Oh, no. We shouldn’t impose on you.”

“It’s no problem. I rarely have visitors.”

Lexa looked at Clarke, and she smiled. “Great, we’ve love to see the place after all of these years.”

Clarke tagged along unsure of where Lexa's bravery was coming from, but she wasn't going to object seeing that her partner was seemly back to herself.

~

June guided them into the house and put the baby down in a bassinet in the living room and showed them the home. When Lexa got to her old bedroom and stepped inside, it still had the feel of the little girl's room, with little girl things. It was smaller than she remembered but a wave of nostalgia hit her. She smiled at seeing it was now painted pink. Shaking her head, recalling the memory from long ago. The color didn’t bother her anymore.

“It feels smaller than I remember," Lexa said, as Jessica leaned against her mother's legs and smiled with her. "I love this house when I was little. My dad and I lived here until...” Lexa stopped an didn't want to go there, not today.

~

Clarke joined the kids sitting on the floor in the living room and played with the pets, listening to their conversation. The little boy warmed up to Clarke after a while he sat in her lap to pet the dogs. Peter giggled when Sara poke at him with a wet nose, and he cupped the little dog’s face and gingerly kissed her on her nose.

“What do you do June?” Lexa asked.

“I’m currently between jobs. With the baby, it’s going to be hard to find a steady job, but I used to teach a million years ago.”

“How interesting. I use to teach at the elementary school not far from here. We both went there when we were kids. Right now, I'm teaching older kids at the nearby middle school. What grade do you teach?"

“Oh, same as you, grade school children."

“Really?”

Clarke could see the wheels spinning in her partner's head and wondering she was thinking.

“Listen, I’m thinking about changing jobs, actually starting a new business. If you have your credentials up to date, I could put a good word in for you at my school.” June listened intently but didn’t respond. “Middle school doesn’t start until September and would hate the leave them, short staff. I’m mean I don’t want to rush you. Just give you a chance to think it over.”

“I, I would like to, but I...are you sure?” June looked towards Clarke then back to Lexa.

“I know I’m pushing, sorry about that. It’s just that I would love to be able to help you out.”

Clarke watched her partner, wondering if she’s overcompensating for something. She could tell she was anxious and talking a bit faster than normal.

Clarke finally stepped in to dial it down, “Hey, why don’t you and the kids come by our house later. We’re going to barbecue some burgers and stuff, and we can continue the conversation?"

Before June could respond, the kids jump in and starting begging their mom to say yes.

June didn’t speak a first. Probably a little shocked at the friendliness of total strangers. “I..uh...I guess it would be okay, but I wouldn’t want to put you guys out.”

“It’s no problem.” Lexa didn’t speak up, so Clarke continued. “We got it everything covered. Oh, I’m sorry you can invite your partner or husband if you want.”

She hesitated then said, “Umm, no...it’s just the kids and me.”

“We don’t live far, let me give you our address and what you say, come by around 3 pm?”

“Sounds great. Thank you so much, Lexa and Clarke.”

“It will nice to get to know you and your family.”

~

After giving June their address and walking back in the heat of the day, Clarke looked over to her partner. She could see she was shaking. “Hey, are you okay?”

“What did I just do?”

“You were kind to a young woman who needs help. It’s not so out of character for you honey, don’t over think it. Those kids are adorable, and there is nothing wrong with helping another person out, even if you don’t know them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Clarke did feel better at calming Lexa’s worry, but she wanted to talk to her mother about it later. “When we get home, I'll go to the store and pick up the stuff for dinner and invite Mom and Rob. I’m sure they’d like to see how you’re doing. If that’s okay.”

“Sure, I’ll pick up the house before everyone gets there. Having a barbecue is sounding more fun by the minute. Why don’t you get something for the kids to play within the yard.”

~

Clarke had her phone up to her ear and pushed a shopping cart with the other hand as she listened for the call to connect. She threw a couple of bags of buns in the cart and headed for the meat aisle.

“Hey, Mom.”

“I was about to call you. How is Lexa?”

“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” Clarke went on to explain what happened and invite them for dinner.

“She may be a little anxious, but not so different, don’t you think?”

“I’m not sure. Lexa even questioned herself after we left their house. Like not sure why she threw it out there that she’s ready to quit her teaching job. I thought we were going to talk about it. Just get a feel for it, not completely jump without looking.”

“So she’s thinking about making a big change in her life. What we need to do is support her.”

“I want this to be the right move for her, but I don’t want her making any decisions unless she’s thought it out. With a clear head and not because she thinks I want her to do this or that she should do something this instant. I’m not sure if it’s the right time now.”

“Talk to her honey. Let her know what your thinking.”

“It’s that simple, huh?”

“Pretty much, kiddo.”

Clarke laughed. “See you guys in a bit. I got to finish my shopping list and get something for the kids to play in the backyard.”

~

Rob pulled out the grill and started to light the briquettes. Smoke billowed out, as the woman gathered under the patio cover. The kids were playing under the big tree with water pistols, and little dogs were dashing away, as Lance sat with his mouth open licking at the spray.

“So, June are you from Virginia?” Maggie asked.

She looked at her kids then back to Clarke’s mom. “We came from Colorado. My folks use to live here, and we came back after...” She was interrupted when Jessica ran into her arms crying because Peter took her squirt gun away. With a stern look, Peter quickly gave the gun back, and the little girl ran back into the yard with Lance following behind.

Lexa had the baby in her arms, and Clarke draped over her arm around her as they cooed at her. Tickling her under her chin and little Emily gurgled and played with her fingers trying to mouth them.

“Baby’s are so very innocent aren’t they Clarke?” She looked over to Clarke and was struck by the love she saw pouring out of her. Her heart swelled up a bit seeing a radiant glow from her that almost took her breath away.

“All little kids are to me.” Clarke moved her arm in front of her and motioned with her hands in the _gimme_ signal, and Lexa reluctantly gave up her charge and watched with interest at the protective way Clarke held her.

“Three little kids must be a lot of work for you,” Maggie said.

June wasn’t a big talker, and she had hardly said a word since they arrived. “We, I mean I try my best.”

“Then it’s just been you and your children?”

Maggie’s prodding cause June to open up a little more. “We had to leave where we were staying.”

“Oh?”

“The older children’s father got into some trouble, and for their safety, I left the state.”

“And Emily’s father isn’t around?”

“No, I...she was a mistake.” She blushed then corrected herself, “I’m mean I didn’t plan her.”

“They’re all adorable and healthy. You’ve done a great job giving them a home and stability.”

“Thanks, Maggie. I do try my best.”

~

Lexa stood up and stretched. “Who would like another drink?”

Rob and Clarke held up their hands and June, and Maggie was still working on their lemonade.

When Lexa stepped into their house she went to grab a couple of beers, a wave of sadness overcame her, carefully putting them down on the counter, she put her hand up to her chest and breathing became labored, and thought she might pass out.

Stumbling to the back of the house and into the bathroom as she shut the door she leaned back and slowed her breaths down. In and out, over and over. She shivered remembering a strange hand on her back and the smell of an alcoholic breath on her face. His face came to her now. A look of lust in his eyes like she was his for the taking.

"No, no. no." Begging some unknown deity for a reprieve and leaned against the vanity, shaking at the loss of control.

Minutes passed, and a call from inside their bedroom from Clarke caught her attention.

She spoke slowly with labored breaths. “I...I’m in the bathroom Clarke please help me.”

Clarke rushed to her side and put a hand on her back. “Hey, what happened? Are you all right?”

“I...dont know...I can..hardly...breath..”

“Take it slow, in and out. Deep breaths if you can,” Clarke said.

Lexa leaned against her and did as she instructed, following along with Clarke as she watched her take in slow breaths and letting them out.

“You're having a panic attack. It’ll pass. Just hold on to me okay?”

Lexa nodded, and her breath came back to normal. She felt tired, sad and cursed at the loss of control of her body.

“Would you like me to tell our guests to leave?”

“Oh, no. Please. I’ll be okay, just give me a minute to freshen up.”

“Are you sure?”

“I have to move past this Clarke. I can’t let what happen, take over me. I can’t let that bastard ruin everything.”

“Your right. Just let me know if I can do anything for you.”

“You already have Clarke.” She pulled Clarke to her and held on tight. The calming presence from Clarke help soothed her shaking legs and body.

“The food is almost ready. Rest here, and I’ll get everything set up. Come out when your feeling better okay?”

Lexa nodded her head and watched Clarke leave. She leaned over the counter and turned on the cold water. Looking into the mirror and seeing her face at the lost and saw a stranger staring back. She shook her head again and closed her eyes.

“Nooo. I am not weak. God damn it,” Cursing at herself for almost falling into despair. Flexing her arms as they rested against the countertop.

“I won’t let this bastard win. I just can’t. Fuck!” The angrier she got, the more determined she felt. Anger may not always be the answer, but keeping her focus on placing the blame one where it belongs.

“I’m okay. Clarke saved me. The asshole is in jail, and he can’t hurt me.” She looked at herself again in the mirror and reluctantly smiled. She could see herself again, not the lost woman from before.

~

Clarke and Maggie were in the kitchen cleaning up, as the kids had finally exhausted themselves out and laid on the floor. Rob was in back putting the grill away, and Lexa and June sat on the couch. The baby was in her carrier fast asleep with a pacifier moving slowly in her mouth.

“I want to thank you and your family for having us over. I haven’t met a lot of people since we came back to Virginia.”

“It’s been nice getting to know you. Have you thought any more about the job, maybe becoming a teacher again?”

“Are you sure you want to leave your job. You’re great with children, especially my rowdy kids. I know it was hard leaving my teaching job when I came out here. I can’t imagine you would want to give it up.”

June had finally started to open up. Sharing her struggles of being a young woman with three kids. The father of Jessica and Peter was in prison for an attempt murder case, and when his friends became too much. With their loud motorcycles and coming into their home at all hours of the night like when their father was around, and the only way she could cope was leaving and finding a new home. Emily’s father was a guy she started to date and currently wasn’t in their lives. He left as soon as he found out he was going to be a father, leaving her alone pregnant and out of a job.

“I almost for certain, June. Getting to know you and honestly, I want to be able to help get you on your feet.” June was overcome with emotion, and Lexa quickly pulled out a tissue box, handing it over to her.

“Thank you.” Sniffing and blowing her nose. “I made a copy of my credentials you asked for.” Bending over and pulling out the copy from her purse and handing them over to Lexa.

~

Clarke gave the last clean dish to her mother to dry. “Lexa had a panic attack earlier.”

Maggie looked over to Lexa watching her gesturing adamantly with her hands and June laughing at her antics.

“She looks fine now.” Putting the clean dish the cupboard over her head and shutting the door.

“Is it something that I should be worried about? I don’t think she’s had one for a long time. I think the last really serious one was when her mother died.”

“You’ve known Lexa almost all your life, and there will always be trials that you have to face. Now imagine your life if you were a young mother with three kids, and you raise them all alone.”

Clarke agreed and said, “It would be frightening. Not having a support system, family, and friends,” shaking her head. “Lexa is smart, I never even thought about June’s circumstances. Evidently, Lexa did.”

“She’s stronger than you think.”

“I love her mom. I am awed by her strength.”

“You know I feel that about Rob. It was hard after your father died. I didn’t think I would find someone as lovely and caring as Patrick, but I got lucky.”

“He’s a great guy.”

“As far as Lexa goes, be there for her. Listen to her, and tell her what you’re thinking. If you feel she’s closing off to you, give her some space but let her know, no matter what everything will be okay.”

Clarke pulled her mother in for a hug, “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, baby.” Clarke smiled at the endearment. “We’ve got to go. Thanks for dinner.”

Rob stepped into the kitchen and washed his hands and Maggie put her hand on his back. “The best cook ever. Great job on the burgers.” He leaned over and smacked Maggie on the cheek.

“He-man love fire.”

Maggie and Clarke laughed at his caveman impression.

Lexa picked up Jessica from the floor, and Clarke got Peter up and pulled him up to cradle his head against her shoulder.

“These guys crashed fast,” Clarke said.

June whispered. “Let’s just hope they stay that way till I get home.”

“Thanks for coming. I’ll be in touch about the job,” Lexa said.

They got the kids buckles into the car seats, and June pulled Lexa into an unexpected hug.

“Thank you, Lexa. Thanks for everything.”

She hugged her back and Clarke wink at her from over June’s shoulder.

“No problem. Talk to you soon.”

~

Lexa was stretched out on their bed, as Clarke sat over her backside and massaged her with a sweet smelling lotion. Easing the soreness out of the tension that always crept between her shoulder blades.

Lexa's moaned, “Feels so good.”

“You’re tight back here.” They were quiet for a long time, and Clarke continued to massage gently and thoroughly over her back and shoulders and down her arms.

Lexa finally spoke. “I’m going to be okay. I can feel it. It’s hard to explain. I think moving on and not giving in to the sadness that happened is best.”

Clarke bent over and kissed her behind one ear. “It’s okay to be sad, just know that I’m always here for you.”

Lexa shifted as Clarke moved and laid next to her. They joined their hands together and tucked them under her chin. Clarke reached over and blew out the candle next to the bed pulled the sheet to cover them.

“I love you, Clarke. Sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

Clarke tucked her body tight to her. After a few quiet moments, Lexa whispered, “I'm going to be okay.” She stayed silent and worried still filled her heart that Lexa was rushing through her recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By Your Side, by Sade https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4


	3. Chapter 3

_November 27, 2000, Virginia_

Clarke finally got around to taping the last bit of privacy paper over the inside of the front windows of Lexa’s new store, leaving space at the top for light to filter inside. She gazed outside of the opening, watching the trees whip around on this cloudy, dreary, windy Monday and should have been more excited about this new step in their lives but sensed she was going through the motions for Lexa's sake.

The bell jingled as the door open, and Lexa stood in the entrance with their lunch in her hands wagging it enticingly making her stomach rumble. Clarke tossed the masking tape on the shelf below and jumped down to the floor as Lexa gave her a guarded smile and said, “Your belly is so predictable, all I have to do is wave a paper bag in front of it, and it growls.”

“No fair, I only had a piece of toast and banana for breakfast." Clarke checked her watch, "and it’s almost one o’clock.” Clarke snatched the bag and gazed inside.

Lexa pulled the bag back and with a lift her chin she told her, “Go wash your hands first.”

Clarke cringed seeing her filthy palms. “Yuck, be right back.”

~

Lexa pulled out a cardboard box and placed two buckets upturned on either side and spread out their lunch. Her muted dream was slowly becoming a reality and a hell of a lot of work. Purchasing the property for the bookstore, fortunately, went smoothly with only one hitch when they found a leak in the plumbing. She worked out a deal with the owners, and they compromised on the price as her mind ran over what they had accomplished those first few weeks after their world went somewhat back to normal after her assault, and she chose to bury what happened.

The plumber fixed the leak and ran new pipes to a sink and coffee bar, and they spent the early days hauling out junk and peeling off stickers off the walls. Scrapping and fixing the holes from the previous owners. The stairs needed work and hired a carpenter to fix the loose steps and add new railings at the top for her office in the loft.

With the worldwide web taking off, Clarke urged her to get new lines that would allow her to connect to the internet so that her place would be quaint but modern.

After painting the walls and ceiling, she'd have a durable carpet laid; then the carpenter would install the wood shelves that cover both sides of the walls, with sliding ladders, front to back, and between those walls, more shelves in parallel rows on either side of the central walkway. The front windows would display new books for sale, and an area for customers to hang out and read their newly purchased books or hang out and have a cup of coffee.

Lexa made lists of books she wanted to carry and found distributors. The initial output would be hefty, but with the holidays coming up she wanted to include a bit of everything.

Lexa pulled out some samples of paint colors for the walls from her briefcase when Clarke returned and handed her favorite, Mama’s Masterpiece Sandwich, melted cheese on a pile of black forest ham and smoked turkey wrapped in toasted brown bread. The bread was made in-house and was the masterpiece of the sandwich.

Lexa had waited, not telling Clarke of her news, after a call from the D.A. while she was out getting lunch. She dreaded thinking about the assault, finding that keeping busy kept her mind focus on what should matter, but it still found ways to come between them. Like a stain on her soul, she couldn't scrub clean no matter how much she tried. Clarke's anger amplified her fear and guilt.

“Before you dig in, I got a call from Mr. Walter, the D.A.” Lexa paused, waiting for Clarke to looked up at her and decided to make light of what he told her. “I've got good news and bad." Clarke nodded for her to go on as she took her first bite.

"First the good news, the creep finally waived extradition and will be transferred to Ohio to face his rape charges."

Lexa hesitated to continue and stalled by taking off the lid to steaming bowl of clam chowder and dipped her spoon in for a bite. She swallowed and glanced up finding Clarke waiting.

“What’s the bad news?”

Lexa closed her eyes, feeling the weight of Clarke's reaction looming and mumbled, “The D.A. may drop the charges against him here.”

“What the fuck! Why?” Clarke said as she slammed her sandwich down.

Lexa looked up, still surprised at Clarke's anger. “Believe me, I know it doesn’t seem fair, but if he's convicted in the other state, it will be a long time before he gets out and will probably never hear or see from him again. There was minor involved in one of his rape cases, and it's possible he'll spend at least the next twenty years maybe more in prison if he's convicted. The D.A. said they would file charges here immediately if he’s not, we will just have to wait.”

Clarke put her head in her hands and seethed. Lexa sensed it like a wall between them keeping them apart.

“I want this fucker out of our lives!”

And here they were back to square one. The attack had angered Clarke more than Lexa. It was a side to Clarke that although at first seemed natural to feel, unfortunately, it had affected their relationship. After the assault, their sex life became non-existent from the stress, and Lexa believed it to be her fault. She didn't want what they had together to be tainted by some outside force coloring their world, but it ended up happening anyway.

Following the initial first days, she only felt comfortable to be held by Clarke when they slept, and she seemed afraid to touch Lexa more what she had requested, less it would bring back disturbing memories. And then for some damn reason, they fell into the dreaded, Lesbian Death Bed Syndrome, that she hated. She didn’t know how to break them from their comfortable routine and although being held every night at first felt right, now it was gnawing at her and felt awkward going any further.

They started to attend counseling sessions to help Clarke deal with the rage she felt at reliving the moments before and after. She shed a lot of tears of guilt, and one way she tried to cope was to talk it out, the other keeping in mind she rescued her. Lexa learned a lot about her depression during their sittings, and although neither of them brought it up, their counselor Gracie unknowingly helped Lexa make sense of her past heartbreaking experiences.

For Lexa opening the store and pouring her energy into its remodel had put them somewhat back on track and she hoped that Clarke could finally make peace with it. In her heart, though, it was that one last stupid thing between them that plagued their relationship, it was over three months since they had touched each other intimately.

Lexa pulled Clarke’s hands away from her face. “I’m okay with this, Clarke and I would like you to try a let it go.”

Clarke held her hand. “I’ll try Lexa.”

Lexa watched her as ate her lunch. Clarke didn’t look up from her meal, and she could see that her shoulders had slumped. Clarke’s sadness covered her like a black cloud. She knew they had lost something between them, a sense of security and intimacy by what happened.

They had grown into this somewhat comfortable silence, and she continued eating and watching Clarke’s face. The strain had taken a toll on her partner’s good nature, and she found that Clarke had a dark side to her personality that had tried to take over.

Lexa thought of the times when she was the one in the relationship which suffered from depression. Clarke always understood and gave her space. At first, it was a relief. A partner that wouldn’t ask too many questions, but for Clarke, she now realized what she had been putting her through. She felt selfish at how Clarke just took it and was her bubbly happy self when Lexa depression passed. She needed to put this right with her.

“Clarke?”

“What?” She looked up from her half-eaten sandwich.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Whatever for?” Clarke lost her appetite and wrapped her sandwich and put it back into the bag.

“For how I treated you over the years. When I would go quiet and not talk to you for hours.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I understand.”

Clarke's rote statement cut Lexa to her core and plowed forward, “I don’t think you do. You’ve always been there for me, and I took advantage of your good nature and giving me space. I didn’t know I was hurting you. Not till now. After what almost happened to me I'm just now realizing how it had affected you. I am so sorry that I let it go on for so long. I should have let you in, tell you what was on my mind.” Lexa’s eyes started to fill with tears and let them fall.

“Hey, please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it, Clarke. I wish I could go back and change how I treated you. Why did I do that Clarke?

“Shh.” Clarke stood and gathered Lexa into her arms. “Listen, we can’t change the past. Things aren’t always fair, you and me both know that.”

“I want to help you with your anger.” Lexa pulled back so she could look into Clarke’s eyes. She brushed away a few strands of hair that covered Clarke’s face and tried to make eye contact with her. The trepidation between them made Clarke pull back from her.

“Lexa, it’s all new to me. I wish I could explain how it feels to lose control. I get so angry and want to hurt something. Hurt him. I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret and won’t be able to take it back.”

“I think I do know." Pausing then revealing, "I'm afraid, Clarke." Not saying she was afraid she was losing Clarke.

Clarke lifted her chin and Lexa watched as one lone tear fall and reached out her hand hoping she would take it. Their fingers met then tangled together. Lexa wished she could impart between their palms _come back to me_ since her words failed to make the connection.

~

On the drive home, Clarke thought of Lexa's grip on her hand as world narrowed down to what she said; that Lexa was afraid. Clarke felt every word slice into her soul that she allowed herself to fall into that trap of self-doubt and let her righteous anger put a wall between them.

Clarke could spend the next few weeks in a funk, and let the desire she once felt for Lexa completely die off, or she could fight to get back what they once had before. Choosing to stay angry certainly hadn't helped and expelled a frustrated breath at the wasted time and energy.

Remembering a lesson, she learned as a child, when needing to express outwardly and constructively; a thought bubbled up. Like a dim light growing brighter, she turned to Lexa as she pulled the car into the garage. “I think can come up with a cool idea for your bookstore.”

“What’s that?”

“Give me a minute.” A seed of an idea started to grow a little surprised she hadn't thought of this before, probably because her mind was so focused on the new store and being angry, she didn't take time to enjoy the process with Lexa.

Now determined she went to the room that held her art supplies and opened the closet. Stacked neatly on the overhead shelf were her sketchbooks. Dozens, with some completed and half-finished pieces. She brought them back to the living room and placed books on the coffee table.

"You want a glass of wine or something?"

“Sure, anything,” Lexa said over her shoulder as she stacked wood into the fireplace, to make a fire and take down the chill in the air.

~

Lexa pulled the large throw pillows in front of the fire and flipped open a random artbook. Some she knew quite well. The dates on the outside cover made her mind flashback to their childhood. She laughed when she found the first drawing Clarke had ever made of her. Shaking her head at Clarke’s childhood rendering of her sitting on butt rubbing knees after falling. A child’s rough drawing held in it a longing for those simpler times and ran her fingers over her name, Clarke had placed at the top. Bold blocked letters spelling out, Lexa Woods. A memory of the first day they met when she was nearly nine years old.

Flipping through more drawings, she came across more pictures that she never saw before. She stopped on a page struck by her image gazing back, and by the date at the bottom, she was eighteen again. Lexa darted her eyes over to Clarke opening a bottle of wine and filling a couple of wine glasses and back down at the picture. It was a portrait of herself as though watching the artist. Clarke had captured her face that held in a hint of sadness. It was as though Clarke had seen into her soul. Clarke sketched out in charcoal the hurt and loss seen in her face, from her mother's untimely death.

Memories flooded back of a cabin in the woods and Clarke doing what she could to help her find her bearings. She had within her a tenacious, determined spirit that saved her once more.

Lexa flipped through more pictures, and she found herself gazing down at delicately drawn pictures of only her hands and sensed something deep in inside of her stir.

Another piece was of a half-finished pencil etching of the side of her face. A few of just her lips. One striking image was of her turning, with a cheeky, sexy smile and looking over her bare shoulder. Her hair a mess and it was obvious they had just made love. The date in the corner and now she was twenty-five. A pang of desire jolted in her heart, and it began to swell with love for Clarke.

Now understanding may be a little of what Clarke saw in her. No one on this earth knew her as Clarke did. She felt something shift away from her grief, wanting to run and pull her lover in and never let her go. She took in a deep breath when Clarke sat down beside her, watching her lover’s movements with new eyes.

“How come I’ve never seen some your work before?”

Clarke leaned over, gazing at her drawings and hid her blush. “Um, I thought I did?”

“They’re beautiful.”

“I just drew what I saw.” Clarke leaned against one of the pillows and sipped her wine.

“Oh, no it’s so much more than that honey. I feel like I am just getting to know you all over again. I don't think I have truly appreciated your talent."

The blush that covered Clarke’s cheeks grew darker as Lexa reached up and moved hair that covered her eyes. The mere act of touching Clarke in this natural way didn’t feel innocent anymore. Clarke swallowed but didn’t pull back this time. Lexa understood she was going to have to initiate contact now that Clarke seems to afraid to make a move towards her.

Her heart told her to fix this now before you lose this beautiful person in front of you.

Clarke gazed back at her, and she watched the subtle movements of her eyes. The way her mouth came slightly open. It caused a thud of heartbeat against the wall of her chest. It was as she was seeing Clarke for the first time. At the young Clarke, once brave and fearless.

The light from the fire danced over Clarke’s skin, and it played in her hair, and she couldn’t help but leaned over and kissed her. Lexa sensed their connection stronger than ever. She wanted the love between to simmer, and she picked her glass of wine and took a drink.

“So, what was your idea?”

Clarke hesitated for a moment and stuttered, “I was thinking of painting murals across the top part of the walls above the books shelves. But, I haven't a clue what you’d like. Can you give me some ideas?”

“What do I like? Hmm, I like a lot of things Clarke.” She gently pushed against Clarke’s arm. Trying to get a reaction again. Clarke just smiled and leaned slightly against her.

One baby step at a time.

~

They spent the next hour looking over Clarke’s drawings. Lexa made sure to touch Clarke. Hold her gaze a little longer, smiling at her when she could catch her watching her.

Clarke started with a simple sketch on a clean sheet and quickly outline the layout of the store in three dimensions. The height of the bookshelves would only cover the first seven feet leaving more than enough room to paint above and decided to block off three feet for the artwork.

As Clarke drew, Lexa let her hand rest against Clarke’s leg, gently rubbing patterns against the material hoping that she could feel the passion building. Mentally kicking herself for not seeing to Clarke’s needs and her own.

As her mind wandered, she began to wonder what it would be like to take Clarke into her mouth again, drive her fingers deep inside her and feel them clenched down on them when Clarke shook through her climax. She felt her cheeks grow red thinking lustful thoughts about her partner. Silly as it was since they knew every inch of each other. For some reason, it felt new, like the first time she pulled Clarke into her arms and kissed in her treehouse a million years ago.

Lexa and Clarke laid against one of the large pillows, and Clarke held up the rendering of the store. She was able to put a lot of details in the drawing in such a short time that Lexa could see her dream wasn’t just her own. Clarke knew her so well that somehow she was able to put on paper everything that her heart had desired.

“I like the idea of the murals Clarke. What if you were to draw depictions from famous novels. I could see this being a work in progress. You could come by on your days off and work on it, and we could spend the day together.”

Clarke’s face lit up, and Lexa could tell by the excitement in her voice. “I'd love too. I suppose it will take some time to do an outline and for you to choose what you want me to draw.”

“I love your idea. It’s pretty brilliant, Clarke.”

Her desire for Clarke grew into a slow burn with an ache to removed the distance between them. Lexa took the drawing from Clarke's hands and cupped her cheek. Leaving it there for a moment, then running her thumb over her lower lip as she moved closer. Clarke gazed with uncertain eyes, and then they darted to her mouth. A soft moan passed her lips that Lexa recognized. She had heard it before when they had made love. Clarke was panting. Lexa loved that sound and wanted to hear more.

Clarke stopped and held her breath for a moment, and it caused a pang in Lexa’s chest. She’s trying to control herself; she's afraid to let go. She could see the longing in Clarke’s eyes and again cursed at what they had been through these past few months.

She bravely decided to make the first move and asked with her eyes. Clarke slowly nodded, and Lexa lifted her leg over her body and sat on her lap. She took a moment to read Clarke's face. Placing her hands against her chest then leaning over to kiss her lips. Clarke jumped slightly at the pressure of her body and pulled her down the rest of the way. _I’m in her arms. She’s holding me. Please let go, Clarke. Please let me fix this._

Lexa was back home in her arms again, as she moved her lips lightly over Clarke’s, setting the pace when arms went around her back. Running calming patterns against her. She ached to touch every part of Clarke. Lexa’s tongue tentatively came out to taste her lips, and Clarke's mouth came open in response. Lexa slid her tongue inside and a jolt of lust at being close to Clarke course through her veins. It was like she was kissing Clarke for the first time.

They spend long moments reacquainting each other with their kisses. Clarke didn’t hesitate to kiss her back with a passion that sent bolts of desire through her body. Lexa’s hunger was growing. What had been asleep was finally coming awake.

Clarke tried to flip her over, and Lexa sat up to stop her, placing Clarke’s hands on her hips and patted them to keep them in place.

“No Clarke, please let me do this for you.” Clarke’s eyes had gone dark as a smile creased her lips and lifted her chin in response and held her lightly on her waist.

Clarke grinned and playfully said, "I wouldn't want you to fall off."

Lexa wasn't sure where her bravery at initiating the first move was coming from but kept her eyes focused on Clarke as she slowly started to unbutton her flannel shirt. Exposing her skin an inch at a time and watching the subtle movements of Clarke’s face. A tug of smile a the corner of Clarke’s lips. One eyebrow raised when she playfully exposed her bra on one side. Then she sighed when she opened her shirt and let it slip off of her shoulders, leaving her exposed in only her lace bra. Clarke didn’t say a word but took in a shaky breath and shifted a little under her thighs.

“Do you like?”

“I...yes I like it a lot.”

Lexa reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting the straps slide down her arms finally revealing her breasts to Clarke. Her eyes looked into hers for a moment then down to her chest. Clarke looked relieved. For a moment she just gazed at her. Lexa wanted to spend this short moment before they moved closer to just let her drink her in. Get used to each other again. When her eyes found hers, Lexa reacted and leaned over, pressing her lips against hers, sliding her tongue in Clarke’s and reflexively moved her hips over her thighs.

Before she got too carried away, she pulled back from Clarke’s lips, as she tried to follow her and stopped, dropping her head back against the pillow with a huff. Clarke squinted. "You're a tease, Woods."

Lexa winked, and with her newly found courage, she held Clarke's gaze and stood up and quickly removed her remaining clothes and helped Clarke remove hers as well.

Now it was Lexa’s turn to gaze down at her partner. Take in Clarke's heavy full breasts as she breathed. Lexa leaned over once more and started to kiss Clarke at the base of her neck, bringing her hands down to hold her breasts, running her thumbs over her nipples until the grew stiff. Sucking against the pulse point making it jump against her lips. Clarke’s breath increased and kept a slow pace of adoring every inch of her heated skin.

Lexa leaned back, a little dazed by the thick emotions hanging between them and flipped her hair over her shoulder, wanting more and went back in to take in the smell of Clarke's skin at the base of her neck. Clarke’s scent was subtle and held a hint of desire. Clarke warmth scent permeated her senses. Under the light fragrance was Clarke’s unique smell. She sucked at her skin, pulling at it and biting down softly and hearing a small gasp from Clarke’s lips.

She moved to one cute ear and spoke a quiet plea, “I want to be inside of you. I want to taste you, make you come in my mouth.” Lexa could feel her cheeks burn, asking for what she wanted and continued, “I want to give myself completely to you. Will you let me, Clarke?” She felt rather than saw Clarke nod her head.

Lexa sat back up and moved her fingers down and into her dark, moist curls, Clarke bending her knees so Lexa could lean back and exposed herself completely.

Clarke took in a shaky breath, moving her hands to the inside of her legs and pushed them apart.

Lexa could smell herself and grew wetter, holding Clarke’s gaze, as her fingers drift down at the gathering wetness seeping from her cunt and across Clarke’s exposed skin. She dipped one long finger into her depth and pulled out a thread of slick coated over her fingers, feeling it’s slippery texture, looking past them hearing a low growl came from Clarke.

Lexa courage built and added two fingers to opened herself up and ran one finger from her other hand over her clit. Pulling the hood back and making a quick pass over the swollen tip, gasping at how sensitive it had already grown, eagerly pushing one finger into her depth moaning as she gazed through slitted eyes and held Clarke's gaze. Lexa pulled out and ran it over Clarke’s lips. She grabbed her hand and sucked the wet finger into her mouth and closed her eyes as she hummed.

When they came open, they had gone dark. “Lexa, please I want more. Please let me. I need to feel you in my mouth again.”

Lexa's ego stroke hard at Clarke's request. With a slight nod, Lexa moved the pillow from behind Clarke's head, and she held Lexa’s hands as she walked on shaky knees to Clarke’s waiting mouth. The prolonged drought was over, all she wanted was to give everything to Clarke, never to deny her every part of her body.

Lexa settled slowly down on her waiting mouth, feeling Clarke’s warm hands on her hips guiding her home.

~

Clarke gazed up at the swollen cleft of Lexa's labia seeing her wet and ready for her, nudging her nose over her flesh and swiped her tongue over her cunt, pulled a shudder from Lexa’s hips. She groaned at the warmth of her wetness, then she moved to the inside of her thigh and took a sucking claiming bite.

Lexa groaned loud and long with a quivering breath, "Oh god, Clarke. I want...” her words cut off as her tongue began to circle Lexa's opening and push deep inside.

“Clarke..." Lexa's voice trailed off as she concentrated on moving against her tongue. Clarke’s hands held onto her ass as she rocked against her mouth.

Clarke felt their connection flowing between them as Lexa reached down blindly and ran her fingers through her hair. Clarke hummed then flicked her tongue across her clit, lost in her hips jogging against her mouth as the pressure grew and Lexa pull herself open, and Clarke kissed, sucked and flicked her length clit over and over.

A deep sultry moan Lexa and ground down harder against her mouth. Clarke’s tongue made quick passes, and she felt the peak coming and quickly looked up to connect their eyes as she fell over in bliss and arched her back riding her orgasm through its completion.

~

Lexa fell over Clarke and tried to slow her breathing down and felt another wave building between her legs. Clarke continued to hold on and pushed tongue deeper inside. The pressure reached a dizzy height as her body reacting and completely gave herself to Clarke.

Clarke radiated love to her center and reached out to cover every inch of her body. Her hands came down to intertwined with her lovers, and she pulled them to her chest, and she fell over, spilling her come all over Clarke’s face.

After she had caught her breath and scooted backward, she pushed her face into Clarke’s neck, whispering, “I’m so sorry for everything.” Her tears started to flow in earnest, and she wasn’t able to control the tide of regret that tried to keep them apart.

Clarke petted her back and cooed into her hair. “It’s okay, honey. I would have waited a lifetime to have you in my arms again.”

More tears began to fall at Clarke’s sincerity. Lexa kissed the soft skin of her neck and sucked gently and heard a gasp from Clarke. She sucked again and quick intake of breath. Clarke was sensitive. She pushed herself onto on elbow and leaned over her.

She watched her eyes and bent over to place a kiss over the warm skin, and heard soft sigh come from Clarke. Although teasing Clarke had its appeal, this was not the time to keep Clarke waiting. The floor was getting uncomfortable, and she wanted to move this to their bed where she could spend the time to reacquainting with Clarke.

Before she could ask Clarke, she whispered, “Take me to bed.”

They stood up and Clarke followed her on shaky legs, laughing at how weak making Lexa come made her. She fell over into her arms, and they stood warming by the fire swaying together with their arms wrapped one another.

Lexa pulled back and brushed the hair from Clarke’s eyes. The tender, shy way Clarke looked at her, made her fall in love with her all over again. She moved in to kiss her waiting mouth and passion started building within her body.

“I love you, Clarke.” She said between kisses.

“I love you too,” as Clarke filled her with two of her fingers, and Lexa’s head fell over against her shoulder. Lexa’s third orgasm was coming fast and breathed out halting words.

“Bed...you...me..now.”

Clarke chuckled, "I'm making up for lost time." But, relented and pulled out of her cunt and kissed her and then led them towards the hallway towards their bedroom.

~

The melding of heated skin began with slow, soft grinding of hips against one another. Deep lingering kisses. Hands were on backs and asses, pulling, urging, surging against one another. Aching sweet moans passed lips as their bodies reacquainted.  
  
Lexa whispered, “Clarke, I know it’s been a tough couple of months for us, and I want to tell you how sorry I am for my part.”

“You don’t have to say that, I was okay.”

“No, I do, you know that if this had lasted for too long, we wouldn’t have made it. We’ve seen this happened to our friends. How they grew apart and started fighting over the most trivial things.”

“Shh, it over now.” Clarke’s breath hitched and watched as Lexa straddled her again. Bending over and finding her place against her lips.

“Your kisses feel are perfect, Clarke,” Lexa said as she softly moved her mouth over hers. Delving deeper and feeling Clarke’s arms over her back and holding her in place with the slow, intimate connection with their bodies. Her leg moved between her thighs, and heard Lexa sigh when she felt wetness covering the space between her legs.

Lexa inched her way down and sat on her knees between Clarke’s legs. Pulling them up and apart and opening her up. Clarke watched as she ran her hand through her curls, twisting them lightly around her fingers and then running them along the wetness clinging outside her cunt.

“Lexa,” she moaned as she slid one finger inside her. She pulled it out and licked her wet finger and hummed.

She slid two more inside and pressed her other hand down just over her mound and rolling her fingers along the soft patch inside to draw Clarke up quickly.

“Does this feel okay?”

Clarke could only nod her head and wagged her legs open. Having Lexa loving her, it was as if the past few months didn’t exist. She would have waited a lifetime to have her back in her arms. Lexa was her soulmate and that connection, meant the good and the bad.

Her mind drifted and letting Lexa explore her body felt right. Lexa's long hair covered her stomach as her tongue sought her out, and opened her up. Licking into the wetness that coated her thighs.

It was love for Lexa she felt her within every cell of her body. Their connection was as strong as ever. And when Lexa penetrated her she arched her back, her mouth came open, and Lexa pushed deeper inside of her.

Lighting flashed outside as she came, a flood of her come coated Lexa’s face and chin as she licked around her center. Lexa continued sucking at her clit. Flicking tongue over the swollen bud and quickly she felt herself building towards another orgasm as Lexa pushed inside with another finger, filling her, claiming her and came again. Crying out her name, and holding her head in place as she jutted against her. The pent-up pain of the last few months dissipated like a candle being blown out. The lingering smoke from the wick, dying down into nothing. It was over, and they were one again.

~

Clarke leaned against the pile of pillows with Lexa at her side. Running her fingers along Clarke’s breast in play. She was idly watching as Lexa walked two fingers over the tip of her nipple, and mimicked like a swimmer about to jump into a pool. Using her fingers like legs of a person, jumping up and down and then diving into her belly button and making a splashing sound with her lips.

Clarke burst out in laughter, grabbing her hand before she could start to tickle her. Lexa joined her laughing and relented and moved her hand to a safe, non-ticklish spot.

“God, I love you.”

Lexa turned and kissed her cheek. “I love you more.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Early morning, December 9, 2000, Virginia_

_“Oh yess, right there,”_ Clarke uttered out shaking through another orgasm, courtesy of Lexa’s lovely tongue and mouth. She half-heartedly struggled against her common sense, the one that told her duty as a veterinarian, was to be on time. Set a good example for her employees. The other sense kept her rooted in place. Her body focused on the drag of Lexa’s tongue against her, sparking lights flashing behind her eyelids when she wrapped her lips around her again and sucked her clit like it was a piece of candy. Clarke couldn’t hold back her gratitude and her good sense. “It feels so good, oh god...but I’ve got...got to finish washing my hair. I...I have surgery on the Miller’s dog in an hour. Oh, god don’t stop, right there, right there. Oh god, Lexa!”

If Clarke’s didn’t have her back against the shower wall, and her hand gripping the door, she would have floated off into space. Just a happy veterinarian lost in another mind-blowing orgasm. Coming down was the hard part, and when she dared to look down at Lexa, she caught that knowing gleam in her eyes. That look that could melt her resolved, but she had to force herself to be the grown up and own up to her duty. She leaned her head back and cupped the back of Lexa’s head to her mound. Just one more minute.

For the last few weeks, Lexa began waking up just after seven and started the lovely assault against the warm skin of her back. At first, Lexa would drive her crazy by placing kisses along her spine to wake her. Lexa became her new alarm clock. The old one, lying unused and pushed over in the corner of the nightstand. When she blinked her eyes open and realized what was happening Clarke happily thought that this is a much better way to wake up in the morning. It carried on until her squirming became an all-out tickle attack by Lexa and she relented and turned over and properly make love to her.

Clarke like that it was a give and take, push and pull between them. One starting the other finishing. Clarke wondered if Lexa was making up for the dry spell that had plagued their relationship for the past few months. Hell, whatever the reason she had no complaints. Other than leaving the house and being on time for work was beginning to be noticed by her staff.

A few mornings, she just made it by the skin of teeth. She doubted she’ll have such luck today if she didn’t pull her up. “Lexa, please.”  
She looked up her through lust filled eyes finally relenting and stood, kissing her deeply as her sneaky hand tried to move against her sex. Clarke was faster at melding their bodies together, wrapping her arms around her as the warm water and soap made for a foamy lubricant that let them slide their bodies against each other.

“Okay, go save the Miller’s dog. What did you say was wrong with her?” Lexa said against one wet ear.

“Hip Dysplasia. Sasha is a lab shep mixed breed. Both breeds are susceptible to this condition.” Clarke’s eyes rolled back in her head when Lexa sucked the lobe into her mouth. “She has a hard time walking...aah feels so good.”

Clarke’s rational mind was reminding her, tick-tock, and she has to, unfortunately, stop Lexa. She reluctantly pushed her way with two hands on each shoulder. Giving her a stern look as she reached for the cream rinse and massaged it into her hair.

“I can help you with that.”

“Ah ah ah, no you go to your side of the shower and let me finish. Clarke butted her away with one hip. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later. Scouts honor.” She held up two wet fingers.

“Hmm, nice gesture, but it’s three fingers, Clarke Griffin, and you were never a scout.”

Clarke sucked the tip her tongue out, and Lexa just smiled. “I’ll expect you to be using that later.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She put her head back in the warm water rinsing it out and wiping at her eyes. “What’s your plans today?”

Lexa leaned against the other wall waiting for her turn under the water. “I’ve got a shit-load of books arriving, and Maggie offered to help organize and probably having lunch with her. The movers are putting my new office desk in the loft. Hmm, that should be the bulk of my day.”

“Have you set a date for your grand opening?”

“I’m thinking the week before of Christmas.”

“Wow, that’s cutting short. That’s just over a week away.”

“I know it crept up pretty fast. I have advertisements going up the paper, and I’ve set up an internet web page so I can link to other pages from businesses in town. I have to firm up the date, and this seems like the best time.”

Clarke rung out her hair and removed a towel from over the shower door and wrapped it around her head leaving the stall. “I’m going to be late, Lexa.” She hurried into the bedroom drying off and pulling her clothes on, running a comb quickly through her hair and started to blow dry her hair.

~

When Lexa got her libido back, this impulse to reconnect with Clarke was like an instinctual force of nature. One, she had no intention of curtailing. If her mind tried to lure her into negative thoughts, she quickly doused its nudging. Now that their lives were back on track, Lexa couldn’t help thinking about the last few weeks and how they had how they spent long hours in each other’s arms. The spell between them, the curse that kept them apart, base on an unnameable fear was broken. Once she pushed aside the doubt that once wedged between them, her heart opened back up to Clarke, and the love between them was as strong as ever.

She still felt guilt over the pain this had caused Clarke and it only seemed natural to express to her in every way with their connection. She felt as though she was falling in love with all over again. Her heart was lighter and their future together, strong as in the beginning and remember when Clarke had told her many years ago when she felt uncertainty. Her words came echoing back her. It drove the fear away when she said, _Then love me like it’s our last day on earth_. Now every day was that day.

Clarke's singing brought her out of musing as she peaked through the frosted glass door and saw her lover working it. Clarke was a lot like her mother with her singing, dancing and shimmying her butt around whenever a song came on that she liked. It was one of her most favorite things about Clarke. The dryer clicked off, and she could hear the last of the song she sang out.

 _Say my name, say my name_  
_You actin' kinda_ _shady_  
_Ain’t callin’ me baby_  
_Baby say my name_

“Don’t you dare leave the house with wet hair Clarke! I swear to god if you do that one time you’re going to catch your death.”

“I won’t. It’s almost dry.” She fixed it into a quick braid and went to her closet and slipped on a pair of comfortable work shoes. “I’ll call you later.” She said as she stepped back into the bathroom and gave Lexa a quick peck on the lips when she poked her head out of the shower.

“Love you.” She called over her shoulder and dashed out of the room.

"We need to get up earlier," Lexa reflected.

~

Clarke stiched the surgical opening closed in a neat line, and her vet tech finished wrapping a bandage around Sasha's hip. Then she snapped off her latex gloves, tossing them into the medical waste bin — one more completed femoral head, and neck excision procedure on the books and left to another room, where a six-year-old gray tabby cat with a large tumor on her side was waiting in her cage and opened the gate.

“Hey, Misty.” The cat let out loud meow as Clarke felt around the growth. “I know, will take care of this sweetie and you’ll be back to your old self.” She turned to the Winnie. “Get her prep, and I’ll see you in twenty.”

Clarke wandered back to her office with a fresh cup of coffee, and pulled open the blinds and sat down hard in her chair. She had a love-hate relationship with days like this. One, the treatment and care of animals was her love, but two, the hate when the patient was too sick to treat effectively, even with the best care she could administer. Clarke was only buying a little time for the cat. After she had explained to Misty’s owner that the surgery would provide the cat three maybe six months, the owner refused to give up on her baby.

She completed the notes on the procedure in Sasha's records and pulled out the folder on the cat. Her diagnosis was cancer — specifically, lymphoma. It was spreading and removing the tumor was only to give her a little comfort.

Finishing the last notes on the cat, she pulled out her phone to call Lexa. She picked up the half-eaten muffin she snagged from their lunchroom from earlier and broke off a piece, quickly chewing when her call was answered on the first ring.

She first heard Lexa laugh and then her voice, _"Hey, you.”_

“How’s the unpacking going.”

_“Slow. Stacks of books are everywhere. We’re organizing them right now. I have a system I’m working on.”_

“Let me guess, The Dewey Decimal System?" 

_“Ah, no. By subject matter and author. Libraries generally focus on a specific classification. So it’s easy to find and easy to return to their shelves. For my place, I’m focusing on customers browsing through subjects they like and then by the author’s last name.”_

“Sounds simple enough.”

 _“It is. I can easily move the books around for the season this way."_ Lexa's voice faded, then she came back and said, _"Hold on a minute Clarke.”_

Clarke overheard Lexa talking to her mother, detecting the subtle lilt in her voice. It was the tone of her speech, a delicate lift in the timbre that caused chills to go up and down her spine. And my god, when she laughed, it was just so perfect.

She swiveled around in her chair and put her feet up on the low window sill and closed her eyes, rocking back and forth remembering this morning. The first thing she saw when she turned over was Lexa’s smile and then her messy hair. The way she moved over her body and slid her leg between hers and sunk her tongue into her mouth...

_“How was Sasha’s surgery?”_

She blinked her eyes open. “Good, no surprises. Are you going to be there all day with Mom?”

_“Probably. I still got a ton of stuff to do.”_

Damn, Clarke was hoping she'd be home early. But, hearing her voice could tie her over.

_“How about you?”_

“I’m out early today, around five. Did you have anything in mind for this evening?”

She could almost hear Lexa’s smile over the phone when she said, _“Maybe...”_ and trailed off like she was lost in thought.

Clarke helpfully finished for Lexa, “Maybe, we could pick up where we left off in the shower when you were kneeling between my legs. I think that would be a great place to start.” A soft sigh and groan from Lexa and Clarke laughed. “I’m sorry babe, I couldn’t get that image out of mind. It makes it hard even to walk, thinking about your talented tongue.” She swiveled around in her chair and standing in the open door was her tech, looking up at the ceiling trying to ignore was she just heard.

“Shit, I’ve got to go.”

_“What?”_

I’ll tell you later.” She turned back around in her chair facing the window and whispered, “I love you.”

A furious blush covered Clarke’s cheeks when she turned and met Winnie’s eyes.

“Sorry, I should have knocked Dr. Griffin.” Winnie tried to hide her embarrassment for her boss and looked everywhere but in her direction.

“No, it’s my fault. I should have closed the door.” Clarke was already at the door when she felt her hand on her sleeve.

“I’m really happy for you and Lexa.”

“Thanks.” Clarke’s blush intensified.

"One more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Your shirt is inside out.”

Clarke closed her eyes and then looked down and indeed this day couldn’t get more embarrassing.

~

Lexa waited at the red light, as her turn signal blinked to the rhythm of the Holiday music on her radio then made the right onto their street and coasted slowly down the road, admiring the Christmas spirit showing cheerfully on most if not all of her neighbor's homes.

All the indoor lights were off at their home, save for the Christmas lights that lined the eaves. Lexa coasted onto their driveway and waited for the garage door to open, seeing that Clarke’s car was there and wondered why was it so dark inside.

Lexa got her things and stepped through the darkened kitchen and into the dining room. The only light on was the pendant hanging over the table. Its light fell on a single red rose sitting in a vase with a note, next to that was one of Clarke’s paint brushes. She picked it up the letter and flicked it open. It read:

_Reaching gracefully into the sky, I bare my fingers when it’s cold. In warmth, I wear my emerald glove, and between those times I wear gold. What am I?_

Hmm. Lexa placed backpack over a chair as she pulled off her coat, scarf, and beanie and walked around the room trying to get an idea of what Clarke has riddled her with and she recited, “Reaching...into the sky...emerald glove, bare my fingers, and I wear gold."

A light went off in Lexa's head, _a tree_ , and went to the sliding glass door and gazed outside, seeing a flickering light on inside the treehouse. It drew her to the tree where she climbed the ladder and stepped into the room. Against a candle rested another note, and one chocolate covered strawberry and a tiny canvas with an incomplete drawing of a person and read the riddle out loud.

_You saw me where I never was and where I could not be. And yet within that very place, my face you often see. What am I?_

This one was much harder and had to reread it several times. Lexa pondered over the message while she ate the luscious strawberry. She pushed her glasses back on her face when they began slipping down her nose. _Okay, think Woods_. Saw me where I never was, my face you often see. You see your face in a...ah mirror — clever girl. She gave herself a fist pump and blew the candle out.

The French doors to their bedroom were now open, and like Hansel and Gretel following the invisible breadcrumbs, it invited her inside.

The bedroom was empty save for a light that twinkled just inside the bathroom and found another candle with another note and a black blindfold.

_No legs have I to dance; no lungs have I to breathe, no life have I to live or die, and yet I do all three. What am I?_

She didn’t have to guess this time. She could smell the odor of a just lit fire in their fireplace. Coming back to the living room she found Clarke pouring a glass of red wine for both of them, and a white tablecloth spread over the coffee table. “How did you...” Before she could finish a pair of warm lips covered hers, and she moaned into her mouth. Clarke’s arms went around her back, and Lexa arched into her kiss as it deepened.

“Welcome home.” Another peck on her lips and Lexa pulled back. Her eyes had glazed over trying to focus on Clarke mere inches from her face.

“This is nice, what’s got into you today with the riddles?”

“Besides being busted by one of my staff when I was talking to you on the phone. I’d have to say, that you, got into me.” Clarke held up the three finger scout salute. “I made a promise you. But, before we get into that, are you hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Sit down, have a glass of wine while I get everything ready.” Clarke retrieved her rose and placed on the table. Unable to stop herself she bent over and kissed Lexa one more time. Pulling back and watching her reaction.

Lexa blinked her eye open and saw the love radiated out of the smile that covered Clarke’s face.

“Be right back.” Then hearing a bark from their office, Clarke turned on her heels. “Oops, forgot about these guys.” Clarke must have kept the pets locked inside, to keep them from giving away her hiding place as she waited for her to figure out the clues.

“Hey, guys, sorry about that. You’re Mama’s home.”

Wagging tails and wet tongues greeted Lexa. “Whoa guys, I’m happy to see you too.” Trying to hold back her furry babies welcoming home.

Sara was the last to greet Lexa, being the smallest and waited for the others to smell her over and making sure she was okay. Then they dashed away to check on Clarke, Sara jumped into Lexa’s lap and got a kiss on her head.

Clarke was busy in the kitchen. Cursing when the door to the oven slammed shut. Lexa chuckled and gazed at the fire. She loved when Clarke would surprise her and what she had experienced since arriving home showed one of her more playful sides, except Clarke, wasn’t the best cook until the smell hit her nose.

Clarke brought out two plates of lasagna, bread, and salad and sat across from her and held up her wine glass.

“Here’s to a successful adventure on your new project.”

“You’re full of surprises.” Clinking her glass with Clarke’s. Lexa took a bite and made yummy sounds over the flavors exploding in her mouth. “Did you make this yourself?” Lexa asked as she covered her mouth.

“I wish. I picked it up at Luigi's. You know the place just around the corner from my office?”

“I do and thanks for this and the surprise. I’m more hungry than I thought.”

~

Clarke came up with an idea during the Missy’s surgery. She didn’t know why her mind wandered, and slowly it coalesced with Lexa in mind and something that involved paint and her naked body. She made a mental note about it, then focus on the kitty, finishing the surgery and while back in her office made more notes and a list of supplies she could pick up on the way home.

“Would you be willing to go along with a project I’m working on?”

“A project? What did you have in mind?”

“I want to make something for the back wall near your office at the store. I also want to keep it a secret from you, but I need your help.”

“You sound cryptic.”

Clarke just smiled.

Clarke’s plan for Lexa this evening involved paint, canvas, and blindfold. One of the bedrooms to their home held Clarke’s art supplies and studio. It was one of the smallest rooms in the house, but big enough to do what she had planned with Lexa

The idea she had specifically, Lexa would literally be her brush.

~

Clarke led Lexa into the art room and had the floor already covered in body-sized canvas. Held down on each corner to keep it in place. Clarke turned on the radio, to create a comfortable area to work. She also placed around the room lightly scented candles that Lexa used when she would spend hours writing in her journal.

Clarke stood behind Lexa and slowly ran her fingers through her hair. Freeing the braid and pulling out the tangles, until the hair fell freely. That lasted only a moment until she pulled it up and off her face and into a pile onto her head and tying it off. Unable to resist, she pulled the stray ringlets aside and kissed along the nape of her neck and up to her ear and whispered, “Do you trust me, Lexa?”

A nod of Lexa's head was her answer, and Clarke turned Lexa around and removed her glasses. Clarke held the blindfold in her hands and shyly asked, “Is this okay with you?”

“I trust you, Clarke. But, why the blindfold?

“It’s a fully realized conceptualized experience I’m folding into a tactile sensation for you. The blindfold is to keep you from seeing what I’m doing because it’s a surprise. The paint and canvas used to illustrate the abstract.”

“Wow, you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” Lexa said, and then her eyes fell on Clarke’s and were the last things she saw before she was turned around again, and the blindfold covered her eyes.

Lexa grabbed her hands as Clarke kissed her along her ear. “I’ve got you. Just let yourself go.”

She tied it off and turned her around and held her face and brushed her lips along her cheeks, grazing past her lips as Lexa tried to chase them in the dark. Clarke chuckled softly and moved past them again.

“I’m going to take your clothes off now. Anytime you feel uncomfortable and want me to stop, let me know, okay?”

“I’m ready.” Lexa’s heart was racing. All of this was new in their relationship. Using a blindfold and letting Clarke gaze over her body, unrestrained. It sent pulses of heat through her core and settled between her legs.

Clarke removed her top, pulling it over her head. She felt another kiss on her shoulder and arms around her back as Clarke unfastened her bra. Warm hand at her waist and her pants slowly pulled down her legs. Clarke brought one of Lexa’s hands up to rest on her shoulder as she helped her removed her pants. Her panties were the last to be taken off.

“I tried to keep the paint warm, so it won’t be too cold for you and still liquid enough to flow properly, and it’s washable and non-toxic.” Clarke held her hand and guided her down and onto the canvas. “I want you to lay on your stomach, with your head on this pillow.” Lexa turned over and rested her head on her hands. “No, I need your arms stretched out to either side.” She moved her arms away from her head and waited for a few minutes hearing Clarke rustling around. Her movements were unclear. She felt exposed and open, but this was Clarke, and she trusted her completely.

Lexa soon felt a warm wet tingling feeling along her lower leg as Clarke brought the brush and down her legs and then up to the curve of her ass and finally to the small of her back. It followed the other leg in the same pattern.

“I want to let you know that I’m applying the paint thick, so it won’t dry too fast before I have you turn over.”

A muffled, “Okay” from Lexa and Clarke continued painting until it felt her back, legs and arms covered in what she could only imagine were different patterns. She tried to make out what she painted, but it was impossible to guess.

“There was a time when an artist would make their brushes out of anything they could find. I’d imagine it could be from the simple things they would find around their world, like a feather from a bird, or twig on the ground. But, maybe it started with just their fingers.”

As Clarke spoke, she continued to apply what she assumed was different colors paints along her body. Her voice was thick with want, and the light feeling of the soft bristles sent chills through her body.

“I imagine that early people were fascinated with how to express their thoughts and I assumed it was why they started with the simplest of pigments, like charcoal from their fires to create the first pictures on the walls of their caves. I understand those motivations now when I see your body laid out in front of me."

Lexa swallowed, and her body began to grow warm between her legs and felt the beginning of wetness pooling there. Clarke’s casual words held a sexual tone to them causing a deep ache inside of her.

“Okay, very carefully, raise on your hands and feet and lay on your back, with your legs slightly apart and but keep arms above the canvas.

Lexa did as she was instructed and felt her body, adhere to the surface. Clarke pushed down on different parts of her body, and then the warmth of her body covered her. Ah, now she knew what the rustling sounds were before. Clarke had removed her clothes before painting Lexa, and this surprise was exhilarating.

It made her feel safe and loved and then her lips were on hers, mapping the surface. “Let go, Lexa,” a quiet request from Clarke.

Lexa’s arms came up and surrounding Clarke’s back. The paint was indeed thick over the backside of her body. It made it easy to move across the canvas when Clarke’s body came down on her. Her thigh slotted neatly between her legs and tight against her mound.

“I wish I had the words you use Lexa when you create poetry but all I have is my paint and canvas.”

Her senses heightened when she felt Clarke’s hands start to move against her and then a warm mouth on her breast. She ached to take off the blindfold and watch Clarke suck at her nipple, but kept it in place. Her tongue swirled around its tip and tightened when she breathed over the surface.

Clarke moaned and sucked on her breast and teeth lightly grazing the tip. She arched her back up and pulled Clarke’s head tighter to her chest. Her body felt alive with each touch and caress, and Clarke sucked harder making her see stars in the darkness. The pooling wetness between her legs began to grow, and Clarke’s hand found her center, opening her up and smoothly pushed inside.

“Clarke, yes,” Lexa moaned and felt her pushed in and out of her. All of her senses were alive, except the darkness that covered her eyes. Lexa moaned out her name out long and with want, “Please Clarke, harder and deeper.” She gasped when Clarke pushed farther inside, filling her.

Then the warmth of her body shifted downward, and she felt her legs pushed open, and a warm mouth found her center and licked up the length of her sex. Clarke pulled her legs further apart and pushed her tongue deep inside, reaching deeply with her tongue to graze against the soft throbbing patch. Her was body alive with sensation, the loss of her sight, concentrating the feelings through her body as she arched up into Clarke’s mouth.

She felt her orgasm building as Clarke’s tongue moved to her clit and felt fingers pull her hood up and her wet tongue flick over her again and again. Her body went rigid, and her lover was relentless pounding against her sensitive clit until an explosion of come spilled out of her and on Clarke’s face and breast.

Clarke cleaned her up as she licked the remaining wetness clinging to the inside of her legs and then crawled up her body and into her arms. She murmured into her ears a grateful, “I love you.” and settle comfortably into her arms.

Quiet moments later, Clarke pushed off of her and gathered her hands into her and peeled her off of the canvas before the paint completely dried.

“I’m leaving the blindfold on for now, and I’m taking you to our shower to clean you up.”

“I not sure if I can stand without your help. My legs feel like jelly.”

Clarke laughed. “Don’t worry, I got you, babe.”

She heard Clarke closed the art studio’s door and locked it. Clarke was honest when she said she wanted to keep this a secret. The only thing she knew for sure was there was a full-sized imprint of her body on the canvas and for what else remained would be a mystery until Clarke revealed the finished piece of her.


	5. Chapter 5

_December 15, 2000, Virginia_

Clarke completed her painting of Lexa in abstract and with Rob's help was installing it over the back wall near the furnished office loft in her new book store. What started as something of a whim ended up to be one of her better pieces. After they had made love on top of the blank canvas the colors, she used to paint Lexa's body were now beneath the painting.

In the painting, Lexa was facing away from the observer with her shoulders slightly held back. Her hair was up and the clean line of her neck, met the soft angle of her shoulder, passing down one arm holding the colors of the spectrum. Her gaze focused over her shoulder giving the viewer a glimpse of her face in profile. Down through her back was an ocean of hues, with dripping lines of intense colors. If she didn't know that Lexa's body imprint made up for a portion of the picture beneath, you would have never known. Her blending allowed for Lexa's modesty to stay intact.

But, Clarke knew. She had seen every inch of Lexa's body and appreciated the subtle way she carried herself, the arch of her back, the lines of her hips fanning down through her legs. Whirlpools of colors on her shoulders and streaks of purples over her hips and blue down her legs. In her left hand was shades of red, fading into a burnt orange. The other hand, hues of green and amber, and in that same hand she held an almost translucent shadow of a sword — a bold statement for slaying her fears.

"What's your painting call?" Rob asked as he stepped down from the ladder and looked up at the completed piece.

"Hmm, it doesn't have a name, not yet."

She didn't know what to call this piece. It was deeply personal for her and how she saw Lexa. The fierceness that mostly stayed hidden. This painting came from a profoundly sacred place. A place where she kept the love she felt for Lexa safety protected. She was her heart, her rock and if she were to derive some meaning behind this painting, it would allow a bit of herself to be exposed as well as her partner.

Lexa had carried through her life, a fear of loss. It would cause her to feel panicked and afraid. In this painting, she hoped Lexa would see, as the woman in the picture moved through time and space that the world was full of light and possibilities and the boldly colored warrior wasn't afraid to conquer the world.

"Let me know when you give it a name." Rob laughed a bit. "I like it, has Lexa seen it yet?"

"No, I've kept her in the dark for now. She's been pestering to see it, but I've made her make me promise to wait until tomorrow when she opens the store to the public."

"What's the rest of the outlines?" Rob pointed to over the books shelf lining both sides of the store.

"I asked Lexa if I could add some art, and maybe hang out with her on my day's off, and I came up with the idea of these murals. This outline over here is from the book, 'Where the Wild Things Are and Alice in Wonderland is over here." She pointed up to the rough sketches covering the wall.

Rob turned around to see all the empty walls over rest of the room and rubbed his beard. "That's a lot of work you've got cut out for yourself."

"I like to paint, and I like to be around Lexa, so it's a win-win if you asked me." Clarke looked back to her piece hanging on the back wall and folded her arms across her chest. All she could see was Lexa, in the lines and forms a perfect representation of her sometimes complicated insecure partner. There would be times when Lexa's world would seem out of focus. She felt that in that picture, Lexa was turning her back on her pain and moving towards a bright new future. At least that's what she hoped Lexa would see when she saw the finished piece tomorrow.

~

Lexa pushed back from her desk and placed her fuzzy sock covered feet against the opened lower drawer and tapped a pen against the blank white piece of paper taunting her. Lexa had started and stopped several times, throwing the wadded up pieces of paper of bad ideas into the trash can. Her mission was to write a short speech for the opening of her new store and of course she couldn't think of a thing to say.

All of this, this project was based on a childhood desire to open a bookstore. Lexa's love of books, her love of writing stemmed out of the encouragement from her late father. Lexa smiled and put pen to paper when she realized this was an excellent place to start, and started an outline. Predictably as she began to finish her first paragraph, there was a ring at her door stopping her progress and dropped her pen to the paper and padded to the door.

Behind the front door, she could hear the sounds of children calling out for Aunt Lexa and Aunt Clarke. It was June and her children. These titles had happened subtly when the children didn't quite understand that they were just friends. But, Lexa and Clarke both enjoyed the names. Neither one of them had siblings, so this was as close as they were going to get, and opened the front door.

"Hey, guys." The little girl immediately hugged her around her legs as Lexa patted her back.

"Where's Clarke?" Jessica pushed back from Lexa and ran to the living room looking for her partner.

"Out, but I'm sure you'll see her tomorrow." Peter followed her and ran to the sliding door to watch the dogs outside in the backyard.

"What brings you guys here today?" Lexa reached over to hug June and stepped away as she moved inside.

"Sorry, if we're interrupting you. We're heading out of town for the Christmas vacation, and we won't be able to be at your opening tomorrow, but we wanted to bring you a gift, it's in the car if you could watch Emily while I get it.

"You didn't have to bother, June."

June handed Emily over to Lexa. "Please, after helping get a teaching job, it the least I could do. I'll be right back."

Emily looked up at Lexa with her shining brown eyes and put out her finger for the baby to grab. "Hey, Emily." She blinked as she grabbed for a lock of her hair. Lexa gently pulled it out of her hands before she stuck it in her mouth.

She turned to the children and asked, "So, where are you guys going on your vacation?"

"Disney World," Peter and Jessica said in unison.

"You are? I love that place. Clarke and I went there when we were kids too."

June returned and was holding a large plant with a bow around its container.

"Surprise," The kids yelled out. "It's for your new store Aunt Lexa."

"I'll put it right in front so that everyone can see." Lexa pulled June into a hug. "Please have a seat if you have the time. How's your teaching going?"

"I'll have to admit, you left some pretty big shoes to fill, and your kids didn't warm up to me right away. But, you know with children, once you get their minds to focus on different projects and in time they'll learn to adjust."

"I do miss them, but I know you would find your footing."

"I wasn't going to mention this, but the children wanted to start calling me by my first name."

"Lexa laughed. "I'm sorry that's my fault. When I was a child, our teacher allowed us to call her by her first name, so I decided to carry it on with my kids. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, in fact, the kids like it and frankly if it keeps me on their good side, it'll be easier to teach them."

"That's what I thought as well."

June stood and started to gather her children. "We won't keep you any longer. I hope that you're successful in your new adventure, Lexa."

"Thanks, it means a lot."

~

Lexa went into the kitchen to fix a cup of tea and get back to her speech and organized the thoughts. She looked out the kitchen window as she leaned against the counter waiting for the kettle to heat the water when she felt the familiar waves of anxiety start to build and braced herself.

It always came with rapid breathing, perceiving the world was closing down on her life. Doubt and dread hung around her neck.  
That feeling struck her with the realization of her decision to change her careers in mid-stream may be a mistake.

This time she wasn't going to let this debilitate her the way the other ones had in her past. Lexa was too far committed into this new project and couldn't afford to let this stop her now that she was so close. She took in a breath and held it for a half a minute the slowly let it out. She did it a couple more times, and her heart started to calm down.

A moment of clarity and a wave of relief as the panic attack was stopped in its tracks — a first for her. Usually, she would crawl under the covers and find a place to hide. This time Lexa flipped it the bird and headed back to her office to finished her speech.

~

"So, tell me about this painting of yours, Clarke." Lexa was laying against the back of the headboard, propped up with a few pillows and wearing new red flannel pajamas. Its collar, long sleeves, and cuffs of each pant leg lined white piping. An early Christmas present curiosity of Clarke this morning. It was a custom that Clarke had started years ago.

Clarke laid next to her, reading over some notes that she had put off today, because of her secret mission at Lexa's store. Putting the chart down and pulling glasses down to peer at her over them. "Hmm, it's got paint on it."

She pushed her glasses back on and picked up the chart with a smile and began studying the findings on Chuck, a mix-breed pup that came in with a severe case of the mange and made a few notes.

She felt a poke in her side, and the sing-song voice of Lexa meant to make her stop what she was doing and pleaded, "Clarke, please just a little hint."

"I could tell you, but it wouldn't make any sense." Laughing a bit at Lexa's frown and thought. How do I tell her that what I see in her is a fierce warrior conquering her fears? The painting a visual representation of the embodiment of her soul laid out over the impression in paint in all her ecstasy beneath. She'd think I was nuts.

"Ooh, alright." Lexa stood up and wrapped her comfy robe around her, pulling it tight around her. "You use to be so much easier to get secrets out of. Do you want some ice cream?"

"Sounds good."

"What kind?"

Clarke looked over the top of her glasses. "Hmm, surprise me."

She continued working on her papers for a while longer when something began nagging at her and looked up from her charts and finally noticed that Lexa should have been back with the ice cream by now. She tapped her fingers and listened for a second or two. Lexa's gonna make me get up and find out what's what happened to her. She waited another minute and tossed her work and glasses aside.

~

The living room was quiet except for soft music playing, and found Lexa was waiting for Clarke, laying against the sofa her top now open and her pants gone and wearing a tiny lace pair of panties. Clarke's mouth fell open.

"I was going to ask you what happened to you, but..." Clarke lifted one leg over the back of the sofa and stepped down and crawled the rest of the way to where Lexa waited for her. Lexa looked at the clock on the wall near the kitchen.

"That took a whole fifteen minutes for you to notice I didn't come back. I guess you were busy," Lexa said with a pout. Clarke nuzzled her neck and kissed the side of her face.

"Mmm, what?" Clarke mumble as Lexa let her continued to kiss just under her ear sending chills down her side. Lexa started to unbutton Clarke's top, a long sleeved green flannel top decorated with Santa's reindeer. "You're not mad that you have to wait..." she looked at the clock, "a whole twelve hours to see your painting?"

Lexa chuckled. "No, I was testing to see if my powers of persuasion would still work on you."

Clarke pulled Lexa further down on the sofa and hovered over her. "Your power of persuasion will always work on me. I have your scent in my soul, laid out over the decades. I can sense you, Lexa. Your pain, is my pain, your joy, my joy. But, you have to wait one more day."

"Wow, where did that come from?" Lexa was supposed to be the wordsmith, but sometimes, on these rare occasions Clarke would open up her heart and reveal something new about herself.

Clarke leaned on one arm. "I guess what I'm trying to say, tomorrow when you see what I've been working on, I did it for you. It's what you mean to me. How I see your courage, what new thing you want to conquer and to say, how proud I am of you and waiting a few more hours will be worth it, I hope."

"I guess I can wait till then." Lexa ran her hand over Clarke side and moved her hand to her shirt. Clarke smiled down at her and let Lexa take off her pajama top off, then pulled Lexa bare legs around her body, but not before she cleverly removed Lexa's panties by hooking one finger around the side and slid them down and off and lost them somewhere in the folds of the sofa.

Clarke only had her half-undress, and keep her top on for now, and she started a slow descent down her chest. Stopping to nudge the flannel PJs over with her nose and ran her tongue along Lexa's collar bone and lean up to run her tongue along the edge of her lower lip and then dipping slightly inside of her and then pulling out. Lexa tried to follow her mouth and sat back.

"Tease." Lexa pouted and tried to pull her back to her lips.

Clarke yielded and shifted to lay over her body and licked into her mouth.

~

It was these moments, where her body touched Lexa along her length that sent a surge of warmth deep within Clarke's core and her hips gave a little grind. Clarke started a slow exploration of her mouth, all wet, hot and moaned as she felt Lexa cup the back of her neck and ran her tongue over and around that made her toe's curl. She sensed Lexa's passion and didn't want to break apart their lips, but her mouth was aching to wrap her lips around...

Clarke opened her eyes — watching as the light from the fireplace played across her blushed covered cheeks, and how it colored her hair into burnt auburn. "Your desire is my desire," Clarke moaned and licked into her once more and then began her descent.

Lexa's breasts were beautiful and licked and sucked her nipple into her mouth, running her tongue around, flicking over its point. Lexa held on as she arched her back and begged for more. She covered her other breast with her hand and lightly tugged on her nipple. Clarke nipped at her nipple then pulled back and kissed the soft redden spot.

Clarke watched Lexa's face. Eyes half-lidded, her mouth slightly open, and breaths in short fast gasps. Clarke continued her path down, licking lines and circles. She could smell her arousal, musky, hot sexual scent of her partner.

Their eyes met over the expanse of Lexa's torso and nudged her legs apart and took her first lick, then one long deep plunge inside and pulled out to run it her entire length. Lexa shuddered and reached for Clarke's face. But she took Lexa's hands and pressed them into her thighs to hold them in place and then used them to push her legs further apart.

Clarke whispered, "Please touch yourself." Then released her hands. Shyly at first, Lexa ran her fingers along her length. Clarke moaned into Lexa's labia, encouraged as her partner boldly pulled her hood back, and the tip of her clit pushed out and ran fingers alongside her budding sex.

She was close to coming from the taste on her tongue and vision of Lexa teasing her clit. Clarke gazed further up between her breast and then to her face. Lexa's eyes squeezed shut, her mouth open as her fingers worked her clit with the gathered moisture spilling out of her cunt.

Lexa was close, so very close to falling and could tell by the steady slick running along her lips, and she arched her back and rocked against her face. Clarke plunged her fingers aside Lexa's hot core as she wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked. Lexa cried out in one glorious moment as she pushed her feet into the sofa and lifted her hips as her body surged into her climax.

Clarke held on pushing inside of Lexa as she came and spilled over her face and breast. She pulled out and cleaned her up nuzzling her nose along her the cleft of her labia and kissed her sensitive clit.

Clarke glanced up at her resting partner. Lexa's arm was slung over the back of the headrest, her shirt was tangled around her arms and was blissed out. Clarke grinned into her belly button and crawled into her embrace.

"That was nice," Clarke whispered.

Lexa smiled and said. "You smell like sex." Then pulled her into to another pantie dropping kiss. "and taste like it too." She hummed, and Clarke felt Lexa's hands moving towards her pants, and she grabbed her hand stopping her.

She kissed her under her neck and quietly said as she leaned her head into her shoulder, "I got a visitor."

Lexa huffed out, "Well, that's not fair at all."

Clarke laughed. "I'm not complaining. I love watching you come."

Lexa blushed and tucked her head into Clarke's neck. Happy, but a little embarrassed by her frankness. She settled next to Lexa, and arm and leg draped over her.

"So, tomorrow," Lexa whispered. "Big day."

Clarke kissed her brow. "The first day, with all our friends and family. It's going to be great Lexa."

"It is," Lexa said after a long moment.

~

_A cold breeze blew down through the valley, stirring the leaves and debris scattering on the ground near the hooves of her horse. The wind caught in the braids of hair, as her destiny drove her forward._

_Days into her journey were laid with barriers, lined with traps, and as she cleared the last one, she stopped to let her horse grazed, and she looked over the land. A bolt of longing hit her in a deep place in her soul taking her breath away. Then the pain struck her, something she had been avoiding, trying to push it away until she could no longer hide from who she was, who she was becoming. In her hands were the reins of her horse, and he neighed and nudged her shoulder taking her out of her thoughts._

_"Steady, not much further," Lexa said. More to convince herself more than the horse. She moved back and stepped onto the stirrups and swung her leg over his back and steadied him as she led him down on the slope until they were now on a path that would lead towards this yearning._

_Lexa knew this was a dream, but the images, the sounds, and motion of the horse beneath her felt solid. The pain and craving felt real, and she couldn't shake this urgency of her goal, her purpose. If it was to ride this horse until she found what she was looking for, so be it._

_She needed to wake up and remember who she was, why she searched her live for its meaning, but fear always stood in her way. Self-doubt as a roadblock that she wanted, no needed to vanquish and to slay the demon who told her lies, who begged her to forgive their misdeeds only do them again with no remorse. No more falsehoods, this has to end, or she would be lost forever in the cycle of this madding deception._

_In the distance stood her last barrier in the form of a man. Dark haired and young. His smile was disarming, and as she approached him, her uncertainty grew. Her instincts made pull up her horse as she nearer and saw he carried in his hands, a weapon in the form a shield, covered in vile objects of self-doubt, pain, and suffering. This final barrier represented as an immovable object in the symbolism, and she reared her horse back and pulled her sword free from his scabbard tied at her waist and slid down from the horse and met the man in the clearing._

_He circled and moved the large shield from hand to hand. It flamed with her fears and call on her to quit this journey. If she defeated this one last obstruction and she would be free.  
_

_No more self-doubt until his words of scorn spat her, "I will stop you. You'll always be a failure," he said._

_Lexa yelled back. "Not this time."_

_With a mighty blow, she brought her blade down on the man's shield, and it shattered into a million pieces causing the man to look at his hand as he began to disintegrate and burst into screaming darkness turning into a whirlwind and dissipated into nothing. She held her hands over her ears as the sound was deafening in its defeat._

_Now before her laid her freedom._

~

Clarke caught Lexa's arm as she was swinging it around. "Hey, hey! I've got you." Lexa struggled a bit more, and then her body relaxed, and Clarke waited for a moment holding her arm down in case she would lash out again.

The room was still dark, and Clarke checked the time was just after five o'clock and reached for the bedside lamp and back to Lexa side.

She didn't want to wake her, but she was having a nightmare, and she ran the outside of hand along her face, and Lexa's eyes came open and stared at her in confused, and unsure of her surroundings.

"Lexa? Are you okay?"

~

Lexa cleared her throat, "Where, what happened to the..." She stopped, and her brain was catching up as she became fully awake. She laid back down and put her hand over her forehead shaking her head. "I did it."

Clarke pulled at Lexa moving her closer to her side "You want to tell me what it was about?"

"I think I just slew my demon."

Clarke laughed. "Are you trying to tell me something? You almost clocked me."

Lexa looked at her. "It wasn't you. It was him, a man. I had this dream before. It's just never got this far before."

"Sounds interesting." Clarke pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulder.

"More like exhausting." Lexa sat up and took a drink of water.

"Tell me what happened?"

Lexa laid back down. "Do you ever have a dream that repeats?"

"Yeah, I've had dreams like that. What was your dream tonight?"

"It was an obstacle course." Lexa shooked her head. "No more like barriers. All I knew was I needed to get to the end. I don't know why it seemed important. I don't remember most of the barriers but the last one tonight was different."

"How so?"

"In the other dreams when I got this far, I couldn't move forward. I would wake up, or the alarm would go off. Why it was different was there was a person. None of the other dreams had people in them. I was always alone."

"Cryptic, go on."

"Don't laugh, but I was a knight or something, maybe a warrior. I had a horse, and it seemed somehow normal for me. Which is strange, even though I love horses they kind of scare me." She turned to look at Clarke. "This person was my demon."

"What did he look like."

"Oh, he was charming. Handsome even. Dark hair, nice smile. Seem innocent enough."

"Then how did you know he was a demon?"

"Clues, like he had a shield and it was the way he was holding it, threatening."

"How did you slay him?"

"I was thinking, no more self-doubt and he answered me like he could read my mind and said he would stop me and I got mad, furious. I thought I didn't just go through all of these trials since I was a kid just to stop now, so I brought my sword down on the shield and shattered into a million pieces."

"A sword?"

"Maybe I was a warrior in another life." Lexa laughed as she shook her head.

"And what does that make me?" Clarke kissed her nose.

"Hmm. Maybe you're my princess in distress. I will rescue you." Lexa rolled Clarke over and started to kiss her along her neck.

Clarke smiled and laid her hands above her head. "Take me, my warrior."

~

Clarke blindfold Lexa's eyes and guided her into her store, placing in the center of the room and walked back to turned on the spot lightsand gazed up at the painting. The light shined on it from below bringing out the radiant color.

"Ready?" Clarke moved to behind Lexa.

"I'm ready." She removed the blindfold and stood silent for a moment looking up at the presentation of herself. "Oh my god, Clarke. It's beautiful."

"You like it?"

"Is it me?"

"Yes, my warrior." Clarke smiled as Lexa stepped next to her and pulled her to the back of the store.

"Did you name the painting, Clarke?"

Clarke eyed the painting then smiled and stood behind Lexa and wrapped her arms around her middle and said, "Not until this moment." She waited for a dramatical pause then stated, "The Making of a Warrior."

"It's lovely, Clarke."

"I thought that maybe if you could see yourself, as I see you, then maybe you could move past the things that have hurt you. At least that what I was hoping."

"I can see our future, Clarke."

~

After Mia and Kerry had set up a few tables for food and drinks inside, they all gathered on outside of the store. Her friends, family and new customers waiting for the grand opening. She looked out of the front window and looked towards Clarke finishing up a few loose ends in the back.

"Are you ready, Lexa?"

"I am." She went to Clarke's side and held her hands in hers and gazed into her eyes. "For all of this, and for pushing me to make a change in my life, I want to thank you."

"You're everything to me, Lexa. Let's get this opening started."

They moved outside and in front of the store and Lexa began, "Thank you for all coming the grand opening of my brand new books store. This endeavor was because of my late father. He encouraged me to put my thoughts down in a diary when I was young, and it carried with me as I grew up. It allowed me to put in context the events that transpired over my life. I grew to love to read and had quite an extensive collection of books. I could easily get lost in a story, removing myself from the world a book at a time. It helped me grow and learn new things. My father wrote me this letter before he passed and I wanted to share a bit of this with all of you."

Lexa looked down at her notes as she pushed down the tears that threatened to fall. Clarke place her hand in the small of her back, and she pushed forward at looked up to the waiting crowd of friends an onlookers.

"My father told me that there were many things that he wished he could've changed. One thing he wanted me to carry something with me through the rest of my life was never to have any regrets.

He wanted me to live the life that felt right for me and to share my journey with someone that believed in me. I did when I fell in love with Clarke. He also said to stay true to myself and who I was, and I have tried to do that every day of my life. He said that life is learning and growing and it didn't have pain then joy would lose its meaning.  
No more accurate statement were those words from my late father, Adam Woods, who I would like to dedicate my new project. I would also like to thank my friends, family and the one person, who if not for her support I wouldn't be the person I am today.

Thank you, Clarke, for being my partner, lifelong friend, and my soulmate."

Lexa leaned over and kissed her partner on her cheek. Clarke blushed a bit and handed Lexa an oversize pair of scissors, and with Maggie and Rob on either side of a large red ribbon, she cut through it officially opening her store.

"Welcome to Books and Brew."

**Author's Note:**

> The National Sexual Assault Hotline is at 800-656-4673. More resources are available at rainn.org.


End file.
